Say Goodbye

Annie brings Ruthie a snack. She brats that Annie is blocking the view of her imaginary friend. Annie is surprisingly indulgent towards this behaviour. The phone rings. The women calling Annie calls her by her maiden name. It's Rachel, an old high school friend, who has been married several times. She's just moved to Glen Oak, and is living near the Camdens.

While Annie is distracted, Simon comes into the tv room and changes the channel. Ruthie tries to interrupt Annie's phone call to tattle, but Annie basically ignores her, until she starts screaming like she's been killed. The cause of this commotion? Simon sat on the imaginary friend, and Ruthie is convinced that Hooey is squashed. That shouldn't amuse me quite so much. Annie gets off the phone to glare at Simon, even though there's no way he could have known where Ruthie's invisible friend was sitting.

Night. Simon and Eric are cleaning dishes when Annie comes in all dressed up. Simon comments that she doesn't look like a mom. She takes it as a compliment, but I have to think he meant she looks like a lady of the evening. I mean she's really dolled up, like she's going on a date. Eric worries and doesn't like the idea of letting her out of the house without him. She laughs at him.

Eric asks Simon about the Hooey-squishing. Simon denies it.
Doorbell. Matt answers the door to reveal Rachel, who mistakes Matt for Eric. I don't want to spend a lot of time contemplating that, though I guess it reveals that Rachel's first impression of Matt is far more adult than he actually is. Rachel and Annie hug and giggle. Rachel meets the family, and makes many inappropriate comments. Including asking Lucy and Mary to scout potential dates for her. She also reveals that she's been divorced twice. Shocking! Ruthie asks about Hooey, and Annie and Rachel depart for their night on the town. Just after Rachel reveals that she doesn't have a car, and is hoping Annie can drive. Man, Annie's skirt is short.

Matt mentions to Eric that, "Mom's got a new hanging buddy," and Eric pretends to be supportive. Matt just laughs at him.

Simon spends some time trying to convince Ruthie that he didn't squish her imaginary friend. It's not working, but Simon keeps trying.

Resteraunt. Rachel is unloading on Annie about how crappy her life is. Annie brags about all her college courses. Like way to make your friend who didn't finish college feel worse about it. Rachel gets a dig about Annie "just staying home with Eric and the kids." Annie defends her life choices. They offer a toast with what appears to be real wine. Because at this point the show still thought moderation was possible.

Cam-Mansion. Lucy's friend Suzanne announces that her formerly dead-beat dad found her mom a job at a car dealership. It sounds like a decent job with quite a few benefits. Suzanne is happy.

Simon begs for Eric's help fixing the situation with Ruthie and her imaginary friend. Eric actually reasonably explains that Ruthie is testing letting Hooey go. Ruthie comes in and asks Eric to have a goodbye party for him. Eric asks her to wait a few days, but agrees to have the party if she still wants to then. Simon seems way too invested in this thing judging by the way he grabs Eric by the collar and orders him to do something.

Matt and Mary play basketball. Matt wants Mary to set Rachel up with one of her basketball coaches. Because adults love being set up by the students they mentor. Mary is reluctant, but Matt talks her into betting on it. Um, y'all, just because she asked you to find her a date, doesn't mean you actually have to do it.

Lucy and Suzanne tell Eric about the job. Eric reveals that the dealership is in another town. Matt pops his head in to offer Suzanne a ride home, so he can study later. Suzanne wants to ask her mom about the move.

Annie and Rachel return, still giggling. Matt announces that he's taking Suzanne home, and Rachel talks him into driving her home, too. Annie tells Eric she had a great time. Eric pretends to be happy for her. Annie reveals that she agreed to lend Rachel Eric's car the following day. Eric comments that he admires Rachel's adventurous spirit, but Annie calls him on his lying. Annie suggests that he find her a man to spend time with if Rachel gets on his nerves.

At Rachel's house. Matt has kindly walked Rachel to her door. She has trouble finding her keys, but then drops them out of her purse. She and Matt both reach down to get the keys, leading Rachel to lean in for a kiss. Matt pulls away in shock, and Rachel invites him in. Matt turns her down, so Rachel accuses him of not finding her attractive. Matt obviously does find her attractive, but points out that she's a friend of his mother's. Rachel flirts and tricks him into asking her on a date. She's taking him to see a band, only she says it like it's a euphemism. Matt looks confused. Aww, Rachel's already found herself a man.

Morning. Rachel has joined the Camden's for breakfast. Rachel is clearly a mooch. Matt and Mary come into the kitchen, and Rachel lets the Camden parents know about the band she wants to take Matt to. Annie assumes that Rachel wants to take Matt to a bar, but it's just a coffee-house. Mary invites herself, and Matt jumps on this opportunity to make the evening seem less like a date. Rachel barely covers her disappointment. Annie's not worried because Rachel is her best friend, who we already know she hasn't seen in like twenty years.

Lucy demonstrates that she's as much a pushover as her mother by asking if she can pack an extra lunch for her friend. But I thought Suzanne's dad was paying his child support. Why would she need the Camden's to feed her? Annie asks about whether Suzanne's moving. Lucy says she can't because she needs her friend to talk her out of her craziness regarding Jimmy Moon. Mary notes that she once filled a similar role in Lucy's life, but Lucy counters that Mary's advice usually sucked. Heh.

Simon is still trying to convince Ruthie to believe in her imaginary friend. I have stopped caring.

Lucy's class. Suzanne is not there. The teacher asks Lucy if Suzanne is sick. She says it's because she knows that Lucy and Suzanne are close, but I think it's because she knows how nosy the Camden's are. Lucy looks sad.

High school. Matt tells Mary she doesn't need to find Rachel a date. Mary is suspicious about his motives, but she's relieved to be off the hook.

Simon is setting a Hooey-trap. Still can't care.

Lucy calls Suzanne. It turns out that Suzanne is moving. The girls cry it out. Suzannes promises to call back.

Coffee shop. Matt, Mary and Rachel are waiting for the band to start. Matt reveals that Mary has a great voice. An ex-boyfriend of Rachel's is in the band, and he asks her to sing since his lead singer is late. Rachel reminds him that she's tone-deaf and volunteers Mary. Looks like the date is back on.

Mary starts singing. Rachel insists Matt dance with her. Matt says he doesn't really dance, but Rachel just counters with, "Great, I'll teach you." I don't think she just means dancing y'all. She leads him out to the dance floor, and leans in real close. From the stage, Mary looks seriously wigged by this development. Matt looks positively terrified.

As Matt and Mary enter their house, she accuses him of being on a date with Rachel. Matt tries to protest, but then admits it. Just in time for Eric to reveal that he's in the kitchen. Matt tells him that Rachel hit on him. Eric obviouses that the situation is not good, leading Matt to assert that he's not completely stupid. Okay, Matt, not completely, but almost.

Eric wants to tell Annie. Matt asks him about whether he was ever attracted to an older woman. It turns out Eric was also once attracted to one of his mother's friends-- the Admiral's wife. This is seeming weirdly Oedipal. Eric wants to tell Annie, but Matt doesn't want to. Eric tells Matt to make it clear to Rachel that he isn't interested. Matt expresses that he might be interested, leading Eric to threaten him with military school.

Morning. Mary announces that the band wants her to sing again. Annie and Eric are upset that she sang with a band because they think she's too young. Annie sends the kids out of the room so she can talk to Eric. She starts ranting about the dangers of coffee houses and bands. Eric thinks it would be fun to watch their daughter sing in public. This is enough to placate Annie, but she still wants to talk to Rachel about not getting Mary "involved in these types of situations." Because singing in coffee houses is really dangerous?

Simon gives up on the Hooey thing, meaning Ruthie asks Eric to throw a goodbye party. She wants him to give the speech. Eric seems pretty honored by this. Simon is obviously jealous.

In the kitchen, Annie tells Lucy that she packed a lunch for Suzanne. Lucy tells her that she's easing off of the relationship, so that the move won't be as hard. Annie gives her some advice about cherishing the time she has with Suzanne. Lucy is in no mood to be comforted.

Lucy gives Suzanne her lunch. Lucy tries to help her see the bright side, by noting that they have the rest of the school year to hang out. Lucy's shirt has a giant rubber duck on it for some unknown reason. Suzanne informs her that they're moving over the weekend. Lucy invites her to Hooey's goodbye party, but Suzanne's dad has visitation. They hug goodbye.

Rachel comes over to the Camdens to do laundry. Because she is a mooch. Annie takes the opportunity to announce that she wants to talk to Rachel about last night. Rachel assumes that she wants to talk about Matt, and tells Annie that Matt made a pass at her. I bet Rachel feels really stupid when Annie reveals that she was talking about Mary, and she tipped her hand unnecessarily.

Night. Annie is setting up for Hooey's party. It's quite the spread, considering he's imaginary and has been squashed. Matt comes in to ask about the party, and reveals that he plans to drive Mary to her gig and pick up Rachel. Annie snaps at him, and tells him he's baby-sitting. Matt suggests that Mary doesn't want her parents to go with her. Annie puts on her scary face and bitches Matt out how Mary's too young to sing with a band by herself. Matt clues in and asks if Annie is in a bad mood. Annie reveals that Rachel threw him under the proverbial bus. Matt is too surprised to deny it, so Annie takes the opportunity to lecture him. Annie doesn't blink for the whole conversation. Freaky.

Simon and Ruthie talk about Hooey. I still don't care.

Mary is trying to get Lucy to help her pick out an outfit. Lucy is not paying attention. Mary tries to make her feel better, but fails. Matt comes in to inform Mary that Eric and Annie are coming to hear her sing. Mary is upset. Mary asks Lucy to leave, and she stomps out of the room.

Matt tells Mary what Rachel told Annie. Mary thinks Matt should have told Annie the truth. Matt thinks he can take it because he's a man. Mary thinks this is stupid and sexist. Eric comes in and Mary tries to convince him to skip her gig.

Eric sends her out of the room so he can talk to Matt. Eric also wants Matt to tell Annie the truth. Simon knocks on the door and announces that it's time...

Mary is in the living room begging Annie not to embarrass her by attending her performance. Annie won't budge.

Doorbell. Rachel comes in, and Annie apologizes for Matt. Rachel brushes it off as no big deal, but doesn't tell Annie that she lied.

Suzanne surprises Lucy, so they can hang out before she leaves.

Eric starts giving his speech about Hooey. He takes the opportunity to lecture those in attendance about how easy it is to lie, and how it's always better to tell the truth. Annie looks increasingly confused. Eric is interrupted by Hooey's return. Turns out he had simply gone to visit his wife in space. Everyone gets ice cream.

Rachel asks to talk to Annie in the kitchen. She comes clean about how she hit on Matt. Annie gets on her scary face and bitches Rachel out. Annie notes that if a guy twenty years older than Mary hit on her, they'd have him arrested. Annie, I've got news for you-- the same rules apply to men and women. You can still call the police if you think your son is being harassed. Annie really tears into Rachel. Remind me not to piss her off.

Mary is still trying to convince her parents not to come to her gig. Annie sends Matt into the kitchen to talk to Rachel. She throws in an apology for accusing him of hitting on her friend.

Suzanne admits to Lucy that she kissed Jimmy Moon in kindergarten. Eric's speech jogged her memory. Lucy pretends she doesn't care because she wants Suzanne to leave on a good note. She ruins it by announcing to her parents that Jimmy Moon is a dead man.

Rachel apologizes to Matt. He's pretty nice to her all things considered. They almost hug, but awkwardly settle for shaking hands.

Coffee house. Mary is on stage trying sing to R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Eric and Annie are impressed, until they overhear to men discussing how hot she is. They then feel the need to butt in and announce that she's 14, and that Eric's a minister. The guy judges them as crappy parents, especially given Eric's vocation, and they look worried. Heh. Mary sings us into the credits.

Thoughts:

Good lord, the Hooey sub-plot was tedious. I can't imagine why Simon would care about it at all.

Especially since it got so much airtime, while Lucy trying to cope with her best friend's move got so little attention.

I don't understand what's wrong with singing in coffee houses, but from the general reactions of the adults, apparently this is something for adult only. Weird.

Rachel behaviour towards Matt is pretty predatory.

Eric is so sanctimonious when he's giving his speech about lying.

Annie is so scary when she's angry.

Brave New World

Night. Simon is giving Ruthie advice about her first day of pre-kindergarten. Mostly no crying and no picking. Ruthie is a little nervous. Annie seems sad to see her youngest old enough for school.

Matt wants to make sure that Mary turned down a date with some guy named Michael Towner. She did, but doesn't thinks it's Matt's business. Matt disagrees.

Eric and Lucy are dropping Lucy's friend off at her house. He wants to wait to make sure gets inside, but she tells him it's not necessary. They drive off, but turn around because Suzanne forgot her homework. They see Suzanne walking and call out to her. She tells Lucy that she was trying to catch up with their car to get her homework. I think Suzanne sucks at lying. Eric insists on driving her home, saying that she shouldn't be walking alone at night. Suzanne seems unhappy about this turn of events. Someone's got a secret.

Breakfast. Lucy asks her dad to check in to what's bothering Suzanne. He tells her that he can't butt into someone's life because they have a feeling something is wrong. Lucy points out that he does that all the time. Heh. He says he only helps people who ask for his help (not really true) and Lucy takes that to mean that her asking isn't enough. She storms off.

Ruthie isn't eating her cereal. Simon tries to give her advice about eating so she doesn't throw up. Ruthie just doesn't like the cereal.

Lucy's science class. Suzanne is late. She's wearing a shirt she borrowed the night before. They make jokes about their science teacher. Lucy takes the opportunity to ask Suzanne why her mom said she wasn't home yet when Lucy called last night. Suzanne says her mom is the kind of a flake who doesn't notice when her daughter is home. Lucy pretends to believe her.

Annie, Eric and Simon drop Ruthie off at her pre-kindergarten class. Simon offers to take her in for them. He heads to his own class. Annie gives him a kiss on the cheek. It leaves a giant mark. Annie, it's called blotting, learn it, love it, live it. You're lipstick should not leave that large a mark without smearing. Simon is horrified.

Ruthie's new teacher makes a comment about the last of the Camdens. If only that were true. Annie assures Ruthie that she will be back and gives her Eric's beeper number. Ruthie is decidedly unworried, and excited about modelling clay. Annie starts crying over the fact that her "last" child just started school. If only this the last of her offspring.

High school. Michael Towner slams Mary's locker on her. He's giving her crap because she turned him down. Her friend Cory tells her that there's something written about her on the guys bathroom. She suggests Mary get Matt to check it out, but Mary prefers to handle her own problems. She heads to the Men's room after the bell rings, where she finds this 'clever' remark: You'll always score with Mary Camden because she loves to go one on one. She's upset.

She hides in a stall when she hears someone else come in. It's Matt and a friend of his. They're talking about a Rave Party they attended over the weekend, and all the illicit things that happened there. Matt is unhappy about the comment and plans to do something about it. Whatever he has planned, I'm sure it won't be helpful.

Lucy and Jimmy Moon are hiding behind a bench in what is supposed to be the poor side of town. You can tell because there is graffiti on the bench and the apartments have dingy paint. They have followed Suzanne home from school. They go to look at the mailboxes and note that Suzanne's last name is on one of them. Lucy comes up with a convoluted explanation as to why this might be so, but it's clear Suzanne is poor and ashamed of it. Lucy feels bad about spying on her friend.

Mary blackmails Matt into signing her detention slip. She uses the Rave. Matt is upset that she was in the guys bathroom. She insists that she can handle her own problems. He's doubtful because of the current blackmail situation. He tells that this will only lead to "ugly recriminations and tears." Mary awesomely replies, "Only if you plan on crying."

Annie and Eric are reading an advisory from Ruthie's school. They are shocked by the many weapons that are prohibited in pre-kindergarten. Mostly that they have to make an effort to prohibit them in kindergarten, I think.

Simon asks to talk to Annie privately. He tells her in no uncertain terms that she can never kiss him in front of his friends again. He makes her promise. She agrees, but is near tears about it. His friends gave him a hard time about the kiss earlier. Ruthie comes in, and is surprised to learn that she has to go to school everyday. Ruthie is not pleased. She blames Simon and punches him. She notes that she learned that in school, and refuses to go back.

Lucy confesses her spying to her father and asks him to look into the situation. He's upset with her about it because it's not a safe neighborhood. She tries to tell her father that she was safe because Jimmy Moon knows accupressure point defense. Is that a real thing? She tries to demonstrate by touching Eric's temple, but he's skeptical. Lucy convinces Eric to get involved.

Eric goes to Suzanne's apartment the next day under the guise of dropping off a shirt. Suzanne's mother invites him in for a brief cup of coffee. He asks about Suzanne's lying regarding her address. Suzanne's mother reveals that her ex-husband isn't paying child support. Eric asks permission to talk to the ex-husband. He doesn't leave before Suzanne gets home from school and Suzanne runs off, upset that her secrets been discovered.

High school. Michael harrasses Mary some more. Her friends think she should let Matt take care of him. Mary decides to confront him herself, but he and his friends just laugh at her. Matt still wants to get involved, but Mary tells him to butt out. I love independent Mary.

Camden home. Ruthie tells her dad about how much she liked school. Annie is pleased to hear she's made a friend.

Lucy comes in and demands to talk to her dad. She bitches him out about embarrassing her friend. Her dad gets on her about her tone. He tells Annie he's going to check on a dead-beat dad.

Simon is trying to talk to Ruthie. She's ignoring him, because she's got a new best friend. Simon is not pleased. Ruthie tells him to talk to the hand, mirroring behavior she learned from Skylar. Simon demonstrates he's learning from Matt by butting into Ruthie's friendship. Annie doesn't pay attention to him.

Matt and Mary are fighting about whether he should get involved in the Michael Towner situation. They keep storming in and out of each others' rooms. She says she'll let him know how she's going to handle it "in her own way and in her own time." Matt says he won't stand for someone talking trash about his sister. Mary doesn't like his choice of words and tells him, "One guys warped ego is enough for me to deal with. I don't need yours too." Did I mention that I love independent Mary?

Matt calls out that he's sorry he's more bothered than her. But it's clear Mary is bothered because she curls up with a teddy bear in tears. Poor Mary.

At a used car dealership, Eric confronts Suzanne's father about not paying his child support. Suzanne's father is an ass, and doesn't want to pay child support because Suzanne took her mother's side.

Dinner. Everyone's picking at their food. Lucy is upset about Suzanne. Eric invites her out to play pool to cheer her up. For some reason, this works on Lucy. Mary asks to be excused, and Matt won't tell the parents about their fight. Matt tells them not to worry. Matt, I know I often tell you to butt out, but this might be something that you do want to discuss with your parents. Sure, Mary will still be mad at you, but it's probably more productive than whatever plan you have to take care of the guy.

Ruthie announces that she's not talking to Simon. No one cares, except Simon who is jealous of her friend.

Pool Hall. Eric and Lucy enjoy some father-daughter time. Suzanne's father is also there. He wants to know if the reverend is following him. Lucy is confused. Suzanne's dad challenges him to play for money. Lucy bets money on her dad. I wonder how this will end...

Eric enters his master bedroom to show Annie all the money he won off Suzanne's dad. Annie wants to know if he robbed a liquor store on the way home. He says it's a little overdue child support so that we know he was gambling for a good cause.

The next day. Eric is heading to give the money to Suzanne's mom. Suzanne's dad is already there, he wants to give the money to Suzanne himself. Suzanne's dad is upset about the neighborhood that his daughter is living in, and promises to catch up on his child support. Now that he's been proven right, Eric can pretend to apologize for overstepping his bounds.

Suzanne's dad knocks on the door and tells Suzanne he loves her. He promises to be more involved. Aww, Rev Camden succeeded where lawyers and judges had failed.

High school. Michael snaps Mary bra. Her friends tell her to ignore him. She's decided she not going to take it anymore and follows him into the men's room. So do her two friends and Matt. She confronts him and he suggests that Matt has shown up to fight her battle. Matt tells him she can handle her own business. Mary demands that he erase the comment about her. Michael knocks the pen out of his hand. When he goes to pick it up, saying that she can have her pen back as a "lovely parting gift," Mary shoves his head in the toilet and flushes. Go, Mary!

By now, quite a crowd has gathered to watch Michael's swirlee. Matt sticks up for Mary and they head out of the bathroom. And bump into the principal. She sends them both to detention and arranges to have a meeting with their parents after school.
Lucy's science class. Suzanne and Lucy make up. It's sweet.

Camden home. Lucy thanks Eric for helping Suzanne. Eric and Annie ask Matt to watch the kids while they go to the meeting about Mary. Simon is upset that Ruthie's friend is over. Annie busts Matt for not telling them about the harrassment and Matt says he had the situation under control-- he worries so the parents don't have to. Annie seems to be won over by this insanity.

Ruthie's friend is teaching her some karate moves. They seem to be having fun. This is more than Simon can stand. Matt stops him from interupting and gives him a pep talk about looking out for each other. Just then Skylar's sister shows up to pick him up. Simon is smitten.

Principal's office. Michael and his parents are waiting with the Camdens. Michael wants to file assault charges. The principal encourages Mary to file sexual harrassment charges. Michael is confused, so the principal explains that his behavior constituted harrassment. Michael's dad is not happy about the obvious special treatment. C'mon Mr. Towner, Mary's a Camden-- they always get special treatment.

Mary wants to let it go, but the principal lectures them about everything Michael's done in the last week. She tells him that if he harrasses anyone else, he will have no friend in the administration. If I was Michael's parents, I'd be really pissed about this obvious favoritism.

The principal then encourages Mary to speak up sooner if someone's giving her trouble. No punishment is giving, which seems weird. I'm pretty sure it's still against school policy to shove someone's head in a toilet for any reason.

Mary confesses her detention, and forgery. She gets grounded for the weekend. Eric also encourages her to speak up if someone is trying to destroy her self-esteem and dignity. She thanks him and wanders off. Eric suggests that they keep Ruthie at home for the next fifteen years. Like that's a healthy solution. Annie, however, is so excited about having her first nap in a while, that she decides Ruthie will continue to attend school. They discuss how long Ruthie will be in school as the episode closes.

Thoughts:

If the principal knew about the harrassment, why didn't she interfere earlier? I'm fairly certain school administrators don't have to wait for a complaint to correct someone's behavior.

Simon and Matt need to stop being so jealous about their sisters having lives outside of the family.

Matt also needs to realize that he really has no say in how Mary lives her life unless she's actually asking him for advice.

Also, even if it is pre-kindergarten, why is Ruthie starting school in February?

Something I do like about the earlier seasons is that Mary's independence is generally considered to be a positive trait, rather than a sign of her inherent evilness that it was in later seasons.

Plus, it was pretty awesome when she shoved that guys head in the toilet.