Don't Take My Love Away

We open at the church. Eric is interrupted from typing by a parishoner. They make small talk so that he can reveal he doesn't have a car today. The parishoner, Nora, wants to talk about her wedding anniversary, but Eric makes it all about him by mentioning that his wedding anniversary is the same day. I hope he feels like a jerk when Nora reminds him that her husband was murdered during a gas station hold up three years prior. A situation that the caring Reverend apparently blocked from his mind. Cause he's that awesome of a pastor. Nora wants to see the boy who killed her husband, but the boy refuses. She wants Eric to get her a visit. 'Cause he's just that connected. He says he'll do his best. Nora leaves, nicely wishing him a happy anniversary. Eric looks at a picture of him and Annie, then frantically calls home, demanding that Annie not go anywhere. Annie is confused.

Simon takes this info and runs upstairs to tell all his siblings. They all hurry downstairs, as we cut to scenes of Eric running home. Matt even gets off the phone with Heather's mom to hear whatever the news might be firsthand. Eric busts into the kitchen, gets down on his knees and asks Annie to marry him, even though they're already married. She looks ecstatic, but the kids just look confused.

Night at the CamMansion. Annie is nervous about putting on a wedding in a couple days. It is revealed that they're first wedding fell apart. Eric promises to take care of everything, and that Annie just has to show up. He's hoping she can wear some "hippy-dippy" dress that she wore to their actual wedding. Annie reminises about how she wanted to wear her mom's dress at their wedding, but Eric's mom wanted her to wear the dress Ruth wore. One of the many things that caused them to basically elope. Annie agrees to wear the "hippy-dippy" dress.

Simon interrupts his parents snogging. He has to whine at them a couple times to get their attention. He's worried about whether she'll have finished the attic before school starts, as he is eager to stop sharing a room with Ruthie. Ruthie is not as thrilled to have her own room.

She announces that she may not make it to the wedding, blaming her other siblings' lack of interest and unwillingness to give up the last weekend of the summer. Eric tells her they all have to go. Annie pretends to be the voice of reason, wondering if they're crazy for having a second wedding. Eric agrees, but wants to go through with it anyway.

Annie changes the subject to Nora and whether Eric thinks he can get her a visit with the kid who killed her husband. Eric thinks he can because he found out the kid misses fastfood. Annie calls him out on the obvious bribery, but Eric says that since the kid's already a killer, there's no way for a pastor to corrupt him. Annie gives him a look, and he admits it's a small sin for a good cause. Yea, situational ethics!

Pool hall. Matt is inviting Heather to his parents' wedding ceremony. She agrees to go. They get all sappy and kissy.

Wilson is walking Mary and her crutches to her door. He wants to know what's up with her bad mood. He thinks he knows why she's in a bad mood, but she's not admiting that she's upset. He encourages her to talk to somebody. They kiss goodnight.

Lucy is staring at a picture of Jimmy Moon and crying. Aw, I thought we'd gotten rid of him. She decides to call him, but gets his machine, which includes a helpful suggestion to try him at his new girlfriend's number. Lucy flops down on her bed to cry some more. Come on Lucy, you've had months to move on. He's not worth it.

Lucy pretends to be sleeping when Mary comes in. Mary calls her out on the lying and chastises her for crying over Jimmy Moon all summer. She tells her to get over it. They fight about Jimmy and whether Mary is in a bad mood. Mary is in a bad mood, but she's right about Lucy's wallowing.

Annie is painting the attic. Simon and Ruthie wander in so that Simon can plan out how his new room will look and Ruthie can be annoyed by it. Annie informs Simon that he and Matt will be picking out tuxedos the next day. Simon is less than thrilled. Annie tells him she's always dreamed of having a big wedding, complete with her two sons waiting at the end of the aisle. Simon thinks this is weird. Word, Simon.

Ruthie wants a tuxedo. Annie offers to make her a dress in less than a week, but she would prefer the tuxedo. Annie agrees to think about it.

Eric is on the phone with Annie's dad. Whispering. Annie wanders in and puts paint brushes in the freezer, because she's going to use them the next day. She says it's an old painters' trick, but I'm not sure I believe her. After she leaves, Eric asks Grandpa to send Grandma's wedding dress if there's time.
Matt and Heather are macking in his station wagon. He's upset that she's going back to school in Pennsylvania. A knock on the car hood interrupts. Heather rushes out to give the guy knocking a giant hug. Matt looks sad.

Morning at the CamMansion. Wilson is waiting in the living room. Lucy greets him. She lets something slip about the wedding. Mary follows her into the room and hits Lucy with one of her crutches. Wilson wants to take Mary to the pool for some rehab exercises, and wants to know about the wedding. She tells him about the wedding, but snits that she never agreed to go to the pool. He hassles her about how he thinks she's ready to give up the crutches. Mary seems less sure, and is pretty crabby about it. Wilson wants to know if he's invited to the wedding. Mary gives him a non-answer about how she doesn't even want to go. Wilson decides to give her some space.

Tux shop. Matt and Simon are waiting for Ruthie to pick out a tux. I guess Annie decided this was less work than making a dress. This gives Simon the opportunity to butt in to Matt's love life. Matt explains that the guy from last night was a friend from school, and that Heather will be traveling back to school with this guy. Simon thinks this doesn't mean anything good for Matt and Heather.

Ruthie comes out in a tux, and everyone encourages her to get it. She's not ready. Matt goes to talk to her. She admits that she doesn't want Simon to move out of her room. Then she wonders if she and Matt can share a room. Matt tries and fails to convince her that having her own room might be nice. Matt agrees to convince Simon not to move if she picks out a tux.

CamMansion. Annie is still painting the attic. Lucy comes up to chat about how she doesn't want to go to the wedding because she doesn't have a boyfriend. She wants to invite Jimmy to the wedding. Annie looks like she doesn't think this is a good idea, but she doesn't actually tell Lucy.

Juvenile Detention Center. Eric brings the murderer kid a burger. They chat. The kids pretty surly. Eric explains why Nora wants to talk to him. The kid makes a random threat towards Nora, which would make me think it would be better to drop the whole thing right then and there. The kid goes on to blame his life and television for his current state. Eric gets in his face and starts yelling at him. The kid dumps out all the letters Nora sent him. He refuses to see Nora, but at least he got his burger.

Night. Lucy and Mary snip at each other some more. The phone rings. Mary gets it over Lucy's protests. Jimmy Moon is calling Lucy back. Mary tries to cover, but Jimmy is wise to it. She snits at Lucy and hands her the phone. Jimmy calls Lucy out on the lying. Lucy invites him to the wedding. Jimmy agrees to come and bring Ashley. Lucy is an idiot. She blames Mary for the mess, and snits that she hates her. Mary shares the sentiment and throws a fluffy pink dress at Lucy's head, claiming that they have to try them on.

Matt picks Heather up for their date. She wants to bring her friend because she feels bad about leaving her friend alone. She kisses him, and Matt agrees.
Simon is explaining to Ruthie his decorating plans for the room. He likes
super heroes. Ruthie plants a story in his head about the attic being haunted. Simon is stupid enough to be taken in by it.

Downstairs, Annie is cooing over the fluffy dresses she's making Mary and Lucy wear. Neither girl looks thrilled by this. Eric comes in and announces all the plans he's made since yesterday.

Annie asks him about the meeting, but he doesn't say much. He tries to change the subject by asking if Mary invited Wilson. Lucy answers for her, saying that Mary didn't invite him. Annie tries to ask, but all Mary will say is that she doesn't want him there. Lucy takes this opportunity to blame Mary for forcing her to invite Jimmy and Ashley to the wedding. I saw it Luce, Mary didn't make you do anything. They nearly come to blows, and Mary tells her parents that they're the only ones having fun with the wedding plans.

Eric asks about the tuxedos. Eric takes an opportunity to approve of Matt's shorter hair. The doorbell puts an end to this conversation.

It's Wilson, but Mary doesn't want to hobble downstairs to see him. Eric offers to talk to her, but Annie takes charge. Eric wants to know what's going on with his daughters. Annie notes that they're in a self-pity contest. She promises to declare them both losers. Not something one wants to hear from one's mother.

Wilson is throwing rocks at Mary's window. Lucy thinks Mary is lucky to have a boyfriend. Mary thinks Lucy is lucky that she can walk. Wilson breaks the window right as Annie comes into the room. He offers to pay for it, and Annie promises to send Mary downstairs. She tells Mary she owes it to Wilson to tell him if she doesn't want him around anymore and that she shouldn't ignore him and be rude to him. Mary grudgingly heads downstairs. Um, wouldn't it be easier for the person whose not on crutches to navigate stairs?

Lucy makes a snide comment, giving Annie an opening to tell her to get over Jimmy Moon. Annie tells Lucy that Jimmy and Ashley can't come the wedding. Lucy calls, but gets the machine. She leaves a convuluted message that basically uninvites the couple, but offers an invite if Jimmy wants to come alone. Oh, Lucy.

Mary and Wilson talk. He tries apologize. She starts crying. She admits that she's afraid to stop using her crutches. Wilson tries to be encouraging, but Mary isn't convinced.

Matt comes home and he and Wilson bond a bit over girl troubles. Wilson leaves.
Matt talks to Eric about his insecurity around Heather. Eric doesn't really do much to assure him. The Camdens give such crappy advice.

Simon is up in the attic trying to convince himself that he's not scared of it. He fails. Annie comes up, and he explains about the ghost. Annie assures him that no one died in the house, and explains that Ruthie isn't ready to let Simon go. Simon agrees to share with Ruthie a little longer.

The phone rings. It's the killer kid's social worker. Apparently, the kid has agreed to see Nora. Eric agrees to go as long as he can get to his wedding on time.

Morning. Annie's dress is delivered. She's thrilled to be able to wear her mother's dress. Much kissing ensues.

Matt picks up Heather for the wedding. He invites her friend, so that Heather has someone to sit with. And so he can prove he's secure in his relationship with Heather. Everyone is all smiles.

Simon tells Ruthie that he's not moving out for another six months. She's happy, until she finds out she doesn't get the top bunk.

Detention center. Nora and Eric wait for the kid. He comes in, still surly. She wants to know more about what happened the night her husband died. She finds out that her husband died trying to protect someone, which she finds sllightly comforting. She tells the kid all the ways he's changed her life. The kid rolls his eyes 'cause he's bad. Then she tells him that she forgives him. The kid yells at her, saying that he never asked for her forgiveness. She leaves.

Eric tells him that she forgave him so that she could move on and starts to follow her out. The kid asks if God will forgive him. Eric tells the kid to pray that God does, but that he Eric probably never will. Because Eric is a crappy pastor.

Church. Mary and Lucy are fighting somemore. Mostly about who has more of a right to feel sorry for herself. I hate to say it, but Annie's right-- they're both losers. They start to have a catfight-- complete with hair pulling and tackling. Matt tries to break them up, but Annie stops him. When the finally stop fighting, Annie asks them if they feel better and leaves the room without waiting for a response. Lucy offers to help Mary up.

The Wedding. The church is full. Happy is wearing a tie. Lucy is helping Mary walk down the aisle without her crutches. All is well. Simon tells Eric that he missed a great chick fight. Shut up Simon.

Annie walks down the aisle, ready to renew her vows. Everyone smiles when she gets there. The episode fades out before the ceremony starts.

Thoughts:

That was quite the wedding to be pulled off in two days.

Lucy, shut up about Jimmy Moon. You've had at least three months to get over him.

Ruthie, why do you want to share your room with your brothers?

Simon, why are you being outwitted by a five year old?

Mary's fears about giving up her crutches seem pretty realistic. Including how bitchy she was being to everybody. Doesn't make it that pleasant to watch though.

I'm surprised Eric and Annie eloped. Annie seems like the type to insist on her perfect wedding.

Eric, how do you forget that your parishoner's husband was stabbed to death three years ago? That's not the kind of thing that usually slips one's mind.

Welcome to Season 2!

Say Goodbye

Annie brings Ruthie a snack. She brats that Annie is blocking the view of her imaginary friend. Annie is surprisingly indulgent towards this behaviour. The phone rings. The women calling Annie calls her by her maiden name. It's Rachel, an old high school friend, who has been married several times. She's just moved to Glen Oak, and is living near the Camdens.

While Annie is distracted, Simon comes into the tv room and changes the channel. Ruthie tries to interrupt Annie's phone call to tattle, but Annie basically ignores her, until she starts screaming like she's been killed. The cause of this commotion? Simon sat on the imaginary friend, and Ruthie is convinced that Hooey is squashed. That shouldn't amuse me quite so much. Annie gets off the phone to glare at Simon, even though there's no way he could have known where Ruthie's invisible friend was sitting.

Night. Simon and Eric are cleaning dishes when Annie comes in all dressed up. Simon comments that she doesn't look like a mom. She takes it as a compliment, but I have to think he meant she looks like a lady of the evening. I mean she's really dolled up, like she's going on a date. Eric worries and doesn't like the idea of letting her out of the house without him. She laughs at him.

Eric asks Simon about the Hooey-squishing. Simon denies it.
Doorbell. Matt answers the door to reveal Rachel, who mistakes Matt for Eric. I don't want to spend a lot of time contemplating that, though I guess it reveals that Rachel's first impression of Matt is far more adult than he actually is. Rachel and Annie hug and giggle. Rachel meets the family, and makes many inappropriate comments. Including asking Lucy and Mary to scout potential dates for her. She also reveals that she's been divorced twice. Shocking! Ruthie asks about Hooey, and Annie and Rachel depart for their night on the town. Just after Rachel reveals that she doesn't have a car, and is hoping Annie can drive. Man, Annie's skirt is short.

Matt mentions to Eric that, "Mom's got a new hanging buddy," and Eric pretends to be supportive. Matt just laughs at him.

Simon spends some time trying to convince Ruthie that he didn't squish her imaginary friend. It's not working, but Simon keeps trying.

Resteraunt. Rachel is unloading on Annie about how crappy her life is. Annie brags about all her college courses. Like way to make your friend who didn't finish college feel worse about it. Rachel gets a dig about Annie "just staying home with Eric and the kids." Annie defends her life choices. They offer a toast with what appears to be real wine. Because at this point the show still thought moderation was possible.

Cam-Mansion. Lucy's friend Suzanne announces that her formerly dead-beat dad found her mom a job at a car dealership. It sounds like a decent job with quite a few benefits. Suzanne is happy.

Simon begs for Eric's help fixing the situation with Ruthie and her imaginary friend. Eric actually reasonably explains that Ruthie is testing letting Hooey go. Ruthie comes in and asks Eric to have a goodbye party for him. Eric asks her to wait a few days, but agrees to have the party if she still wants to then. Simon seems way too invested in this thing judging by the way he grabs Eric by the collar and orders him to do something.

Matt and Mary play basketball. Matt wants Mary to set Rachel up with one of her basketball coaches. Because adults love being set up by the students they mentor. Mary is reluctant, but Matt talks her into betting on it. Um, y'all, just because she asked you to find her a date, doesn't mean you actually have to do it.

Lucy and Suzanne tell Eric about the job. Eric reveals that the dealership is in another town. Matt pops his head in to offer Suzanne a ride home, so he can study later. Suzanne wants to ask her mom about the move.

Annie and Rachel return, still giggling. Matt announces that he's taking Suzanne home, and Rachel talks him into driving her home, too. Annie tells Eric she had a great time. Eric pretends to be happy for her. Annie reveals that she agreed to lend Rachel Eric's car the following day. Eric comments that he admires Rachel's adventurous spirit, but Annie calls him on his lying. Annie suggests that he find her a man to spend time with if Rachel gets on his nerves.

At Rachel's house. Matt has kindly walked Rachel to her door. She has trouble finding her keys, but then drops them out of her purse. She and Matt both reach down to get the keys, leading Rachel to lean in for a kiss. Matt pulls away in shock, and Rachel invites him in. Matt turns her down, so Rachel accuses him of not finding her attractive. Matt obviously does find her attractive, but points out that she's a friend of his mother's. Rachel flirts and tricks him into asking her on a date. She's taking him to see a band, only she says it like it's a euphemism. Matt looks confused. Aww, Rachel's already found herself a man.

Morning. Rachel has joined the Camden's for breakfast. Rachel is clearly a mooch. Matt and Mary come into the kitchen, and Rachel lets the Camden parents know about the band she wants to take Matt to. Annie assumes that Rachel wants to take Matt to a bar, but it's just a coffee-house. Mary invites herself, and Matt jumps on this opportunity to make the evening seem less like a date. Rachel barely covers her disappointment. Annie's not worried because Rachel is her best friend, who we already know she hasn't seen in like twenty years.

Lucy demonstrates that she's as much a pushover as her mother by asking if she can pack an extra lunch for her friend. But I thought Suzanne's dad was paying his child support. Why would she need the Camden's to feed her? Annie asks about whether Suzanne's moving. Lucy says she can't because she needs her friend to talk her out of her craziness regarding Jimmy Moon. Mary notes that she once filled a similar role in Lucy's life, but Lucy counters that Mary's advice usually sucked. Heh.

Simon is still trying to convince Ruthie to believe in her imaginary friend. I have stopped caring.

Lucy's class. Suzanne is not there. The teacher asks Lucy if Suzanne is sick. She says it's because she knows that Lucy and Suzanne are close, but I think it's because she knows how nosy the Camden's are. Lucy looks sad.

High school. Matt tells Mary she doesn't need to find Rachel a date. Mary is suspicious about his motives, but she's relieved to be off the hook.

Simon is setting a Hooey-trap. Still can't care.

Lucy calls Suzanne. It turns out that Suzanne is moving. The girls cry it out. Suzannes promises to call back.

Coffee shop. Matt, Mary and Rachel are waiting for the band to start. Matt reveals that Mary has a great voice. An ex-boyfriend of Rachel's is in the band, and he asks her to sing since his lead singer is late. Rachel reminds him that she's tone-deaf and volunteers Mary. Looks like the date is back on.

Mary starts singing. Rachel insists Matt dance with her. Matt says he doesn't really dance, but Rachel just counters with, "Great, I'll teach you." I don't think she just means dancing y'all. She leads him out to the dance floor, and leans in real close. From the stage, Mary looks seriously wigged by this development. Matt looks positively terrified.

As Matt and Mary enter their house, she accuses him of being on a date with Rachel. Matt tries to protest, but then admits it. Just in time for Eric to reveal that he's in the kitchen. Matt tells him that Rachel hit on him. Eric obviouses that the situation is not good, leading Matt to assert that he's not completely stupid. Okay, Matt, not completely, but almost.

Eric wants to tell Annie. Matt asks him about whether he was ever attracted to an older woman. It turns out Eric was also once attracted to one of his mother's friends-- the Admiral's wife. This is seeming weirdly Oedipal. Eric wants to tell Annie, but Matt doesn't want to. Eric tells Matt to make it clear to Rachel that he isn't interested. Matt expresses that he might be interested, leading Eric to threaten him with military school.

Morning. Mary announces that the band wants her to sing again. Annie and Eric are upset that she sang with a band because they think she's too young. Annie sends the kids out of the room so she can talk to Eric. She starts ranting about the dangers of coffee houses and bands. Eric thinks it would be fun to watch their daughter sing in public. This is enough to placate Annie, but she still wants to talk to Rachel about not getting Mary "involved in these types of situations." Because singing in coffee houses is really dangerous?

Simon gives up on the Hooey thing, meaning Ruthie asks Eric to throw a goodbye party. She wants him to give the speech. Eric seems pretty honored by this. Simon is obviously jealous.

In the kitchen, Annie tells Lucy that she packed a lunch for Suzanne. Lucy tells her that she's easing off of the relationship, so that the move won't be as hard. Annie gives her some advice about cherishing the time she has with Suzanne. Lucy is in no mood to be comforted.

Lucy gives Suzanne her lunch. Lucy tries to help her see the bright side, by noting that they have the rest of the school year to hang out. Lucy's shirt has a giant rubber duck on it for some unknown reason. Suzanne informs her that they're moving over the weekend. Lucy invites her to Hooey's goodbye party, but Suzanne's dad has visitation. They hug goodbye.

Rachel comes over to the Camdens to do laundry. Because she is a mooch. Annie takes the opportunity to announce that she wants to talk to Rachel about last night. Rachel assumes that she wants to talk about Matt, and tells Annie that Matt made a pass at her. I bet Rachel feels really stupid when Annie reveals that she was talking about Mary, and she tipped her hand unnecessarily.

Night. Annie is setting up for Hooey's party. It's quite the spread, considering he's imaginary and has been squashed. Matt comes in to ask about the party, and reveals that he plans to drive Mary to her gig and pick up Rachel. Annie snaps at him, and tells him he's baby-sitting. Matt suggests that Mary doesn't want her parents to go with her. Annie puts on her scary face and bitches Matt out how Mary's too young to sing with a band by herself. Matt clues in and asks if Annie is in a bad mood. Annie reveals that Rachel threw him under the proverbial bus. Matt is too surprised to deny it, so Annie takes the opportunity to lecture him. Annie doesn't blink for the whole conversation. Freaky.

Simon and Ruthie talk about Hooey. I still don't care.

Mary is trying to get Lucy to help her pick out an outfit. Lucy is not paying attention. Mary tries to make her feel better, but fails. Matt comes in to inform Mary that Eric and Annie are coming to hear her sing. Mary is upset. Mary asks Lucy to leave, and she stomps out of the room.

Matt tells Mary what Rachel told Annie. Mary thinks Matt should have told Annie the truth. Matt thinks he can take it because he's a man. Mary thinks this is stupid and sexist. Eric comes in and Mary tries to convince him to skip her gig.

Eric sends her out of the room so he can talk to Matt. Eric also wants Matt to tell Annie the truth. Simon knocks on the door and announces that it's time...

Mary is in the living room begging Annie not to embarrass her by attending her performance. Annie won't budge.

Doorbell. Rachel comes in, and Annie apologizes for Matt. Rachel brushes it off as no big deal, but doesn't tell Annie that she lied.

Suzanne surprises Lucy, so they can hang out before she leaves.

Eric starts giving his speech about Hooey. He takes the opportunity to lecture those in attendance about how easy it is to lie, and how it's always better to tell the truth. Annie looks increasingly confused. Eric is interrupted by Hooey's return. Turns out he had simply gone to visit his wife in space. Everyone gets ice cream.

Rachel asks to talk to Annie in the kitchen. She comes clean about how she hit on Matt. Annie gets on her scary face and bitches Rachel out. Annie notes that if a guy twenty years older than Mary hit on her, they'd have him arrested. Annie, I've got news for you-- the same rules apply to men and women. You can still call the police if you think your son is being harassed. Annie really tears into Rachel. Remind me not to piss her off.

Mary is still trying to convince her parents not to come to her gig. Annie sends Matt into the kitchen to talk to Rachel. She throws in an apology for accusing him of hitting on her friend.

Suzanne admits to Lucy that she kissed Jimmy Moon in kindergarten. Eric's speech jogged her memory. Lucy pretends she doesn't care because she wants Suzanne to leave on a good note. She ruins it by announcing to her parents that Jimmy Moon is a dead man.

Rachel apologizes to Matt. He's pretty nice to her all things considered. They almost hug, but awkwardly settle for shaking hands.

Coffee house. Mary is on stage trying sing to R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Eric and Annie are impressed, until they overhear to men discussing how hot she is. They then feel the need to butt in and announce that she's 14, and that Eric's a minister. The guy judges them as crappy parents, especially given Eric's vocation, and they look worried. Heh. Mary sings us into the credits.

Thoughts:

Good lord, the Hooey sub-plot was tedious. I can't imagine why Simon would care about it at all.

Especially since it got so much airtime, while Lucy trying to cope with her best friend's move got so little attention.

I don't understand what's wrong with singing in coffee houses, but from the general reactions of the adults, apparently this is something for adult only. Weird.

Rachel behaviour towards Matt is pretty predatory.

Eric is so sanctimonious when he's giving his speech about lying.

Annie is so scary when she's angry.

Faith, Hope, and the Bottom Line

Night at the Cam-Mansion. Simon is babbling to Ruthie about how awesome he is at baseball. I don't believe him. But he certainly is using a lot of metaphors. Ruthie is excited to have a class phone list. Simon points out that the phone numbers are probably wrong. Ruthie proves this by not remembering the Camden phone number. Ruthie is sad to discover this, but has faith that her classmates know their phone numbers. Simon tries to show off with his stellar knowledge of the Camden phone number, but Ruthie undercuts this by noting that no one ever calls him. Heh.

Eric is at a job fair, talking to a potential new organist/office assistant. The guy is a little surprised that Eric is so interested because he spent some time in prison. Eric doesn't seem to care and asks him to meet the vestry the next day. Hmm.

Annie is at the vestry meeting apologizing for Eric's lateness. Lou makes his first appearance, noting how much Eric hates the vestry meetings. They need to elect a temporary treasure, and decide to proceed without him. This would not fly at any church I've ever been to. The rector may not always get the final say, but they usually have an opinion on such matters. Especially since the vestry wants to appoint Annie to the position. Can we say conflict of interest?

Morning. Annie is making lunches for her off-spring. Eric is struggling to figure out how to put the sandwiches in the ziploc baggies. 'Cause he's not domestic. Simon comes in so that Annie can ask him if he wants to play Little League. He gives her a long winded answer that boils down to a yes. That means he needs a tetanus shot. He asks if Matt can take him to the clinic. Annie loves the idea. Eric offers to take him, but Simon points out that Eric's fear of needles causes too much anxiety in the waiting room. Eric orders Matt to take Simon of the doctor.

Upstairs, Lucy is thanking Mary for tutoring Jimmy. She also manages to insult Mary while making excuses for his lackluster science grades. Mary totally calls her on this. Lucy gives Mary some ridiculous advice about how to tell if Jimmy actually gets a concept or is just pretending to. It involves looking deeply into Jimmy's eyes. Mary is super annoyed.

Outside, Simon is trying to convince Matt to forge the shot record on his sign-up form. Matt refuses on reasonable grounds, but Simon thinks he can talk Matt into the plan.
Eric tries to discuss Annie's new church position with her. He doesn't seem that thrilled that the vestry appointed her. This is why you shouldn't skip meetings, Rev. Annie is confident that she can handle everything. Eric's worried that vestry is going to make him get a security system, but Annie points out that they are only looking into costs.

Ruthie comes down and reveals that she's certain her siblings will leave her behind someday. She then discusses her dessert. Annie suggests an elaborate trade with the other siblings, causing me to wonder why she didn't just make the lunches that way in the first place. She also talks about her phone list. It's fairly dull.

After the kids leave for school, Eric mentions the ex-con he wants the vestry to meet. Annie asks him straight out if he minds that she's acting as treasurer, and he lies that he's thrilled. Annie pretends to believe him.

Middle school. Lucy gives Jimmy advice on handling Mary. Jimmy sums it up as "smile, show some teeth, basically look pretty." I'm not sure why that would help him learn science from anyone. Lucy give terrible advice.

Church. The ex-con, Ron, is wowing everyone with his mad organ playing skills. Lou, however, is skeptical about hiring an former convict to act as church secretary. Tension...

Doctors. Simon has a pointless conversation with a girl in the waiting room. It's really just a set up for him to freak Matt out about needles and waiting rooms. Matt won't agree to forge anything on the form, but he does agree to bring Simon later. That it succeeds is a testament to Matt's stupidity. How did someone this squemish become a doctor? Simon refers to himself as "the puppet master" as they leave.

Church. Eric is trying to convince Annie about how awesome Ron is and why they should hire him. She points out that the vestry isn't sure they want to test out Ron's rehabilitation with the church's limited resources. Eric is upset that she's not on board with his intuition, and she refers to herself as the practical one. What she's basing that statement on, I can't even imagine.

Eric really steps in it when he suggests that they elected Annie treasurer in order to influence him. Annie is obviously hurt by the comment, but Eric doesn't apologize. Because he sucks.

Ruthie is on the phone with the fire department. Lucy catches her, and gives her a lecture on not calling emergency numbers when there is no emergency. Ruthie tries to blame Simon, and Lucy tells her to stay off the phone. I hope she appreciated the irony of that statement.

Mary is tutoring Jimmy. Lucy is spying on them. Mary is taking Lucy's advice by staring into Jimmy's eyes. Jimmy is also taking Lucy's advice to smile a lot. Lucy has a wacky hallucination-- Mary undoes her ponytail in what is supposed to pass for attraction and uses some breath spray, while Jimmy runs his hands through his hair, and the two move in for a kiss. Jimmy Moon displays more emotion in the fantasy sequence than he has in any other scene in the series. Lucy is jealous.

Church. Lou and the vestry are touring the facility with a guy from a security company. Eric jumps to the conclusion that the vestry has made a decision. He also accuses Lou of not giving the ex-con any more thought. Lou claims they have thought about it, but have not changed their minds. Eric reveals that he didn't even find out what Ron served time for. I find that highly ridiculous, even for 1996. What if Ron had been violent or something. Lou calls Eric on not rethinking his position. Eric thinks the church should be open to anyone, Lou is worried abou t general liability. Annie looks thoughtful.

Night at the Cam-Mansion. Lucy accuses Mary of trying to steal her boyfriend. Actually what she says is that Mary thought "if [Jimmy] had six more arms, he could be a babeloctopus." Not sure what that means, but Mary certainly finds it ridiculous. She responds with, "I didn't think that. What kind of mind would?" Lucy is not be convinced by logic or the fact that Mary thinks Jimmy is useless. She's insane with jealousy. And in case anyone thought she hit rock bottom with the "babeloctopus," she makes even less sense as the conversation continues. Mary finally leaves.

Ron is trying to get into the church. Lou is lurking. Ron asks for a hymnal, but Lou tells him they don't have the money to fill that position. He also asks Ron what his conviction was. He tries to be clever, but it boils down to embezzlement. Lou maintains an air of non-judgment, but it's clear he doesn't think much of Eric's plan to hire the man.

Eric confronts Matt about not waiting for Simon to get his shot. Eric admits that he a Simon ducked out of the shot last year. Eric suggests he brings headphones to prevent Simon from talking to him while they wait. That the two discuss it like they're going to war is a little unnerving.

Lucy is on the phone with Jimmy Moon, accusing him of having designs on her sister. Jimmy is repulsed by the idea, and points out that Lucy told him to smile, and set up the tutoring. Ruthie starts eavesdropping on the conversation, but she's not savvy enough to pick up the phone without being noticed. Jimmy hangs up on them.

Lucy goes to find out why Ruthie wants the phone. She wants to Poison Control because her imaginary friend drank Happy's water. Lucy talks her out of this idea, explaining that emergency numbers are for real people and real emergencies. Ruthie is not pleased with this.

Matt tells Simon that they're going back to the doctor tomorrow. He also describes the shot in such detail that Simon is now terrified about getting the shot. Way to go, Matt.
Church. Eric and Lou have it out about Ron and the security system. Lou thinks Eric's job is to represent the parishoners and their values. Eric sums up his job as representing the church, and it's values. I'm not sure how often he succeeds with that. Also not sure why he considers the church and parishoners separate entities. Lou suggests that if Eric persists in this, he might be looking for another parish.

Morning. Eric is ranting to Annie. She's explaining what Lou is thinking, but Eric doesn't want to hear any other view point. She points out that not everyone has as much faith as he does, and Eric finally hears her. He apologizes for being so one sided. They make up. He asks to see her report early, but she's not budging.

Matt and Mary are trying to get Simon out of his room. He's barricaded himself in to avoid the shot. Mary offers to find a screw driver to take the doorknob off. Not sure if that will work. Ruthie, upon learning about the situation, decides to use her phone tree and call the police.

Srgt Michaels knocks on the door, and demands Simon open up. The cops find out that Simon is all right. The audience and Ruthie are treated to a lecture about calling the cops when it's not an emergency. Too bad the Rev. wasn't here to benefit. Lucy takes the phone list away. About time.

Simon gets his shot, but turns out Matt needs one, too. Matt is not pleased until Simon gives him a lollipop. Seriously, how did this guy become a doctor?

Night. Mary confronts Lucy about Jimmy cancelling the tutoring. Lucy feels about her freak outs. Mary tells her that she wouldn't ever do anything to hurt her, until later seasons anyway. Lucy apologizes, and they make up. Annie comes into to announce that Jimmy is at the Camden's to talk to Lucy.

Jimmy gives Lucy a long speech that boils down to that he needs the passing science grade and that Lucy should trust him. Except he uses the phrase that he's 'not a free love kind of guy.' Jimmy, shut up. Lucy goes to get Mary.

Annie is trying to fix the door to Simon's room. Ruthie is watching. Which gives Annie the opportunity to talk to Ruthie about the phone. That they are talking about the phone list like it's a drug is unsettling, to say the least. Ruthie wants to know who told Annie. Turns out it was everybody and their brother.

Matt asks Eric if they're going to hire Ron. Eric is surprised that Matt knows about the situation. Matt notes that there are no secrets in their house. Very true. Turns out Eric hired him, and is trusting that he will show up. He also trusts that Matt took Simon to get his shot. Matt hands him the lollipop as proof.

Church. Annie is giving a speech about what to do with the budget. It's way longer than it needs to be. She doesn't actually tell us what her recommendations are though.
The service starts, sans organ. Lou is quick to note that Ron is late. When Ron shows, he explains the tardiness by blaming the bus.

The hymn closes out, as Annie hugs herself self-importantly.

Thoughts:

Lou is pretty awesome when he's sparing with Eric. He's another character that is less inclined to bend to Eric's will.

Lucy, no one else cares about Jimmy Moon. Especially your sister. Save your jealousy for when she is actually trying to steal your boyfriends (or ex-boyfriends).

The timeline on Simon's tetanus shot is weird. If Eric took him the year before, I don't know why he'd need another one. The last time I got a tetanus shot it was good for ten years. Maybe Simon convinced his dad to sign the form without getting the shot?

I can't imagine that a vestry would be able to appoint the minister's wife to treasurer in a meeting that the minister didn't attend. I'm not sure why a vestry would even want to.

I also can't imagine Eric wouldn't have found out what Ron had been convicted of before hiring him. I know churches preach forgiveness, and certainly congregants are from many walks of life. However, to hire someone with a more checkered past, a rector would generally be inclined to do a little more research. Or at least understand the vestry's reservations.

Also, Srgt. Michael's arrived at the Camden's minutes after Ruthie called. I'm telling y'all, he is way too involved with this family.

Family Secrets

We open with Happy eating Eric's shoes. Simon is trying to hide it and lies to Ruthie to keep it a secret. He becomes uber-helpful to compensate for the inevitable trouble he is in when his parents find out.

The grandparents are on their way out, and have been buying the kids presents that the 'rents don't approve of. Grandpa asks if anyone can keep a secret. After eleven seasons, I think it's safe to say that none of the Camdens are capable of keeping secrets at all.

Matt starts to intuit that something's wrong with Grandma, but the parents won't tell him what it is. Grandma still wants to keep her illness a secret, and still doesn't want treatment. Eric and Annie try to keep the in town by standing in front of their car so they can't leave without running them over. Credits.

All the kids are pitching in with the dishes when the phone rings. Mary and Lucy race for it, but Matt gets there first. The caller hangs on up on him-- wise move in my opinion. Matt pries into his sisters' business, but the sensibly leave the room. Except for Ruthie, who Matt cons into revealing that Mary is waiting for his friend Jeff to call. Which he would have known already if he'd been paying any attention to the last episode.

Simon panics about Happy's pregnancy. They really should take the dog to a vet for confirmation. I wouldn't take the word of a teenager with no medical training. Certainly not enough to panic over telling my parents. Matt nicely pawns off all his chores on to the poor boy.

Mary and Lucy wish to be more technologically in touch with the world while they wait for their phone calls. Lucy doesn't want to tell Mary whose going to call her. Mary blocks her path to the bathroom and threatens to tickle her until she tells. Nice.
Matt is on the phone trying convince some girl to let him bring her dinner.

Lucy cracks, and we are introduced to Lucy's obsession to Jimmy Moon. Mary advises Lucy to lie about why Jimmy is calling if asked by their parents.

Their conversation is interrupted by Jeff calling for Mary. Lucy would rather listen to Mary's phonecall than pee, even though she really had to go a moment ago. God, these people are nosy.

Simon is still being over-helpful.

Matt wants to borrow the car to go to the library. His mother expresses disbelief, but lets him use the car. She hugs him way too long and he leaves.

Night. Shots af all the Camdens sleeping. Except for one.... Shockingly Matt has not yet come home from the library. I can't believe parents as amazing as Eric and Annie are supposed to be went to bed before their newly licensed, teen-aged son got home.
Morning. Eric is pacing nervously around the kitchen when Matt tries to sneak in. He shouts loud enough to wake the whole family. Eric grills Matt about his watch and the lack of a phone call. Matt stupidly reveals that he spent the night at a girl's house. Eric wants to know if he's lost his mind. I think that sums up his character rather nicely.

Annie catches the rest of her children listening on the stairs and sends them back to their rooms with a look.

Matt tries to explain to his parents, but he's grounded anyway.

Mary and Lucy try to figure out what happened. Lucy thinks Matt was making out with the girl all night. Mary suddenly decides she doesn't want to talk about Matt's love life anymore. Jealous?

Ruthie tries to figure out who is in trouble and reminds us that she is on the show.

Simon pumps Matt for information. He thinks he can tell his parents about Happy now that Matt is such big trouble. Matt talks him into waiting til they get good news. So he can spoil a good mood instead of feeding a bad mood, I guess.

Eric can't find his shoes and Annie tries to teach Ruthie the alphabet. Ruthie won't tell him where his shoes are, and scampers out of the room. Eric tries to talk sexy, but Annie wants to talk about Matt's punishment. Eric decides that he can't drive except to and from school and the library for three weeks. Annie tries to talk him down, but he is insistent.

School-- Matt tells Jeff that Mary is only interested in dating him because she's desperate to get kissed.

Hospital-- Eric's feet hurt in his fancy shoes. A sexy nurse tries to hit on him by having the shoes resized. She doesn't believe he's a minister because he's not wearing a collar and she doesn't believe he's married because he left his ring at home. He gives her his shoes and she walks away like the temtress she is trying to be. Eric doesn't seem to notice.

School-- Lucy is surrounded by friends, waiting for Jimmy Moon to walk by. He doesn't say anything and her friends are disappointed. He does turn to look at her, and she seems pleased.

Everyone arrives home from school and heads straight for the fridge. Annie comments on Happy's weight and Simon babbles. Ruthie nearly reveals Simon shoe hiding.
Matt finds out he's grounded and he's not happy. He still won't tell his mom anything about the girl he spent the night with. His mom is still surprised he's been going to the library. Annie wants him to bring her by to meet her. Matt goes to the library.
Happy eats a shoe outside and Simon has to figure out how to get the shoe inside without Annie seeing. He's terrible at lying.

Matt's friend calls, and Annie invites her to dinner without asking Matt first.
Mary calls Jeff instead of waiting for him to call her and encourages Lucy to do the same.

Eric comes home without his shoes and Annie is suspicious of the nurse. Matt is not happy that Annie invited his friend to dinner.

Matt's announcement about his friend is cut short when she comes in the dining room and she's obviously pregnant. The parents panic, but the baby is not Matt's. Simon decides that this is the best time to tell his parents that Happy is pregnant and craving Eric's shoes. Eric looks to heaven.

During dinner, Simon bombards the poor girl with embarassing questions. Eric tries to spare her, but nobody else wants to talk.

Eric and Matt talk. Matt wants to talk about Grandma. Eric wants to help Renee get back in touch with her parents and the baby's father. He assumes that's what she needs most right now. He's making a lot of assumptions considering he knows nothing about her situation with either her parents or the baby-daddy.

Mary and Lucy are in their room walking around with basketballs under their shirts. Nice. Lucy reveals that she doesn't know where babies come from and Mary helpfully tells her if she stops at the kissing part, she won't have to worry about the pregnant part. Cause keeping girls ignorant always keeps them from having the sex. They are interupted by the ringing phone.

Mary busts in on Matt and Eric's conversation. Apparently Jeff doesn't want to date a girl who might want to kiss him. She yells at Matt for talking to Jeff about her. He tells her if she goes out with his best friend, they're going to talk about her. Eric suggests that Mary tell Jeff she doesn't want to kiss him to prove that she's not using the boy. Mary wanders off in the middle of his speech, and Matt worries that Mary is well on her way to getting pregnant because she wants to date.

Renee and Annie discuss her pregnancy. Renee is being awfully open with this woman she met an hour ago. None of this is really Annie's business.

Eric tries to talk to Renee's father. He repeatedly gets the door shut in his face. It's pretty awesome to watch.

Simon returns all the half-eaten shoes. He's not in that much trouble. Simon is trying to think of a way to pay for them. Ruthie is watching this for some reason.

Matt and Annie bond over English Lit and she tells him about Grandma's illness.

Eric tries to talk to Matt about Grandma and Matt blows him off. He doesn't think they should tell the kids. Um, hello, Matt, you are one of the kids, not their third parent. It's really not up to whether your parents share this info with your siblings or not.

Mary and Jeff are back on for their date, and they've agreed to no kissing. Any bets on how long that lasts?

Eric, beginning the trend of butting into other people's business, goes to confront Renee's baby-daddy. He assumes the guy in yard fixing a motorcycle is the father. You know what they say about assumptions... The guy is pretty defensive and Eric's pretty rude about asking him about employment. But he also has a job lined up for the guy. Reverend Camden seems to have some serious connections.

Jimmy Moon asks Lucy if she likes him. She gets tongue tied, so he assumes that his friends are playing a joke. He walks off. It's as interesting as it sounds. Lucy looks crushed.

Simon thinks Matt should marry Renee. Matt thinks this is a stupid idea and he is correct.

The real baby-daddy comes by to thank the reverand for the job. Eric gets roped into trying to find a job for his older brother, and guilt-trips the kid into attending church on Sunday. Evangelism in action.

Mary is excited about her date, despite the no kissing agreement. Lucy is crying and reading Sassy. She's sad because she didn't know how to talk to Jimmy Moon. Mary tries to comfort her.

Annie suggests that Matt call his Grandma. Matt is nervous, but agrees to do so. Matt still doesn't want to talk to Eric about it. Eric is puzzled by this distance and it is revealed that he and his dad are also not close.

Simon wants to set up a lemonade stand to pay his dad back. He wants to sell it between the services. Good thing they don't live in Oregon. Upon realizing that this is not a financially sound investment, Simon decides to give the lemonade away as his community service, so that people will stay for church. Why are the Camdens trying so hard to trick people into attending their services?

Lucy calls Jimmy Moon. She doesn't even wait for an answer or the machine to pick up before blurting out that she didn't know what to say, but since this is tv, we can probably assume that Jimmy Moon got the message.

Eric doesn't let Matt go to the library on Friday, or anywhere else, because he's grounded. Eric offers to take him to play pool, but Matt sensibly doesn't want to be seen with him.

The doorbell rings and the entire family answers the door, thinking it's Mary's date. Instead, Jimmy Moon is on the doorstep asking for Lucy.

Eric and Annie are reading in bed. Eric is obviously nervous about Mary's date and keeps making excuses to go down stairs. Annie calls him out for waiting up for his daughter. He and Lucy meet in the hallway and try to lie to each other about waiting for Mary and Jimmy Moon repectively. They then apologize for lying to each other.

Matt is on the phone with his grandma.

Eric opens the door to let Happy out and finds Mary and Jeff making out on the porch. He closes the door on them.

Simon gives away the lemonade and reveals that his dad needs new shoes. The parishoners think they are running low on cash and start making mad donations to the lemonade stand.

The nurse from earlier has brought Eric's shoes and Annie looks jealous.
Renee has joined the choir and gets a solo her first week. Matt greets Renee's father listening outside the church and invites him to come inside. Aww.

Best quote:
"As long as Dad's a minister, we're never going to have normal lives."
Mary, you have never spoken truer words.