Dangerous Liaisons Part 2

Previouslies-- recapped here: Dangerous Liaisons Part 1

Night at the Cam-mansion. Matt and the rest of the kids sit in the living room, waiting for news about Mary. Nobody is talking until Simon thinks it's not fair that their parents wouldn't let them hang out at the hospital during Mary's surgery. Matt snaps at him and defends the parents which surprises Lucy. She accuses Matt of towing the party line. Which he will continue to do for years to come. His siblings tease him about being a rebel.

The phone interupts their conversation. It's Eric checking in. He tells Matt that Mary is still in surgery and encourages Matt to take them out for food. He also asks about Heather because there is always time to hassle your kids about their potential love interest. Eric tells him to take everyone to a new cafe. Matt asks if the cops know who hit Mary, but there's no word. Srgt. Michael's must be slacking.

Matt gets off the phone and orders his siblings into the car.
The doorbell rings. It's Jimmy Moon. Lucy tries to figure out a way to hide her hair before Simon lets him in, but fails. Jimmy came to see how Lucy was doing in light of Mary's accident, but gets distracted by her hair. She yells at him and runs off. He asks Simon is the hair is permenant, and Simon replies, "If we're totally lucky." I can't imagine what he means by that.

Hospital. Wilson cons a nurse into giving him an update on Mary by claiming to be her brother. Grandpa overhears this, but doesn't correct the nurse. He then teases Wilson about not buying his "grandpa" a birthday present last year, saying he likes the color blue. Weird. Mary is still in surgery.

Grandpa starts spouting platitudes about how tomorrow is another day, but catches himself, saying sarcastically, "I may break into song any minute." I really like the grandparents on this show.

Grandpa catches Eric to ask about any news. Eric doesn't have any. Grandpa asks about his daughter, but Eric isn't in the mood to moderate and suggests he ask her himself. Grandpa doesn't think this is a good idea, but takes Eric's advice anyway. He also reveals that Ginger is packing at their hotel.

Wilson offers to get Annie and Eric some food. Eric takes him up on this offer. Still no word on the driver. What could Srgt. Michael's be doing with his time?

Grandpa enters the waiting room, only to be berated by Annie for showing up. He tells Annie that he loves Mary, and wanted to know what was going on. Annie gets her bitch on and starts to confront him about moving on from her mom so quickly. He explains that he has been grieving and that he needed Ginger's support to step back into the world. He also takes her to task about her behavior towards Ginger. They are interrupted by Eric announcing that Mary is out of surgery. Annie starts out of the room and Grandpa asks her to at least let him know how she is. Annie pauses, but doesn't answer. Because she is just that bitchy. Eric kinda nods.

At the cafe. The rest of the Camdens are just getting their menus. It is unusually quiet. Because everyone in the resteraunt is using sign language. Lucy has apparently heard about the place and says it's run by people who are deaf. Apparently, Glen Oak has quite the deaf community, but no school for the deaf, which is the only reason I can think of that Heather goes to school in Pennsylvania. Matt notes that Eric is trying to teach him a lesson. Because even when his daughter's in surgery, RevCamden can find the time to help his son stalk girls. Simon finds this impressive instead of creepy. They worry about how they are going to order, and Matt suggests that they point at the menu.

Hospital. Mary is being wheeled to her room from surgery. She's still groggy. Eric and Annie talk to the doctor. He starts telling them about the damage to her knee. He's very positive about Mary's recovery. They go in to talk to Mary. Wilson chooses this moment to deliver the burgers, giving Mary the opportunity to say, "I hope the accident didn't scare your son." Wilson looks a little panicky, but the Camparents think she meant his little brother. Wilson doesn't correct them.

Annie blames herself for the accident, but Eric reassures her that it was nobody's fault.

Resteraunt. The kids are eating when Matt sees Heather come in. She pointedly ignores him. This causes his siblings to tease him, and Matt orders them to finish eating 'cause he's ready to leave. Considering that it looks like they've just been served, that could take awhile.

Hotel. Ginger is getting into a cab, and breaking up with Grandpa. Grandpa looks sad. I dislike Annie even more.

Resteraunt. Matt flags down the waiter to ask how to sign "I'm sorry." The waiter shows him, and his siblings tease him some more. Ruthie offers to show him some other signs from Sesame Street, but Matt isn't interested. He gets up to apologize to Heather. Her friends laugh at him. Ruthie runs over and signs that Matt loves Heather, which Heather finds endearing instead of creepy. Aww.

Morning. Lucy is freaking out about going to school as a blonde. Considering her hair looks much better here than in later seasons, I'm not sure what the problem is. Annie tries to assure her that it looks fine, but Lucy doesn't calm down until Matt tells her the hair is sexy. Ew. She is super pleased by this. Double ew. She then asks her dad if it looks sexy. Triple ew. He tells her it looks nice, and that if his thirteen year-old daughter had sexy hair he'd shave her head. This scene is wigging me out, so let's move on.

Eric reveals that Mary is coming home tomorrow, and everyone gets ready to head for school. Matt thanks him for the resteraunt reccommendation, wondering how he knew Heather would be there. Matt, you're dad is a creepy stalker who keeps tabs on the whole town. Eric claims to have guessed because it's the only resteraunt in town that serves deaf people apparently.

Hospital. Grandpa is visiting Mary. He wanted to check in on her before he went back to Phoenix. She asks about Ginger and is sorry to hear that they've split up. Mrs. Peacock also drops into visit, bringing fast food. She's flirty with Grandpa, and offers him a ride to the airport. Grandpa looks less than thrilled.

Middle school. Lucy is twirling, finally excited about her new hair. Jimmy is upset about the change, especially since she didn't talk to him about it first. Jimmy is giving off quite the controlling vibe here. He doesn't like blondes. He tells her to call him when it's washed out. She threatens to find someone who likes her as a blonde. Tense.

Cam-Mansion. Annie is doing laundry. Eric tries to talk to her about her father. Annie still has her bitch on, even after Eric tells her that Ginger left. He tries to encourage her to see things from her father's point of view, and notes that happily married people often remarry quickly after the death of their spouse. Annie assumes that Eric is telling her he will remarry quickly, but I have to assume that Eric will be so glad to be free of his shrewish wife, that he'll embrace the single life. She does seem to hear him when he suggests that her behavior could result in a severed relationship with her father.

Hotel. Grandpa has convinced Mrs. Peacock to let him take a cab to the airport. She encourages him to follow his heart instead of letting Annie dictate how he should run his life. She tells him a whole story about her daughter driving away a love interest. Grandpa looks thoughtful.
Hospital. Annie and Mary talk about Wilson. Mary has decided after one date that he might be the one. She's worried that Eric and Annie might have a problem with him. Annie can't imagine why they would, and Mary does not elect to tell her...

Because Wilson is in Eric's office explaining that Billy is his son. He does that thing where he starts talking about a "friend." It takes Eric awhile to figure this out. Turns out that Billy's mother, who Wilson did marry, died in childbirth. After Wilson is finished with his story, he asks Eric's permission to date Mary, promising that he's now committed to sex in the context of marriage. Eric doesn't give him an answer.

High school. Matt greets Heather with a kiss. They make a date. Michael Towner approaches and asks him how Mary is doing. He ends up revealing that he was driving the car, causing Matt to lose his temper. Which given the circumstances is fairly understandable. Michael tries to convince Matt to pick a place and time if Matt is going to get violent, but Matt can't wait and starts punching him on school grounds. Heather freaks out and drives off. A teacher rushes over to break up the fight, but Michael covers for Matt. After everyone disperses, Matt realizes Heather is gone.

Night. Annie is folding laundry when Ruthie comes in with the promise of a surprise. It's Grandpa. He and Annie finally talk it out. He also mentions the story Mrs. Peacock told him. After he leaves, Annie calls Mrs. Peacock to thank her, and to confirm that Mrs. Peacock doesn't have a daughter. Heh. When they hang up, Mrs. Peacock pronounces them all nuts. True that.

Hospital. Michael Towner brings Mary a teddy bear. Judging by his bruise, Matt really clocked him good. He confesses, and tells her that the Camdens decided not to press charges. If Eric didn't own Srgt. Michaels, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have a say in the matter. He apologizes, and Mary tells him that she thinks he's a jerk but that she doesn't hate him. Michael promises that he's going to change his life. He even apologizes for hasseling Wilson when the boy enters the room.

Wilson reveals that he told the Reverend about his son. Mary is worried about her mom's reaction. Probably 'cause she knows Annie is crazy.
Matt is waiting for Heather at the cafe. She seems to be standing him up. But then she shows up and tells him that they don't know each other very well. And that he scared her when he beat up Michael. She asks him to write to her at school to give them time to get to know each other. Then she leaves.

Cam-Mansion. Simon, Ruthie and Eric are listening to Lucy cry through her bedroom door. Eric gets ready to go talk to her, but Simon decides he wants to handle it, since he's the expert on her hair. Lucy tells him that Jimmy took her friend Ashley on a date, meaning they have broken up. Lucy is predicting that the next day is going to be the worst day of her life. Mind you, she says this the day after her sister nearly got killed in a car accident. Lucy, get some perspective.

Simon gives her a pep talk about how Jimmy Moon isn't good enough for her, reasoning that he's not enough like Eric. Weird. And ew. Lucy seems to feel better, and Simon signs that he's sorry.

Matt and Annie talk. She lectures him about resorting to violence, and demands that he quash rumors about Michael running over Mary on purpose. Annie also threatens to hunt him herself if Michael doesn't learn from the experience. I'd be worried if I were Michael.

Hospital. Mary is getting ready to leave. The doctor sets a follow-up appointment, and Mary makes a comment about getting back in the game. The doctor pulls Eric aside to mention that Mary might have a tough road to recovery. Eric takes this to indicate that she might not be ready to go home and yells at the doctor, without really giving him a chance to explain. The scene cuts away before we find out what the problem is.

Back at the house, Annie has a surprise for her father. She invited Ginger to Mary's homecoming party. Ginger enlists Grandpa's help with party decorations, noting that Simon pulled something blowing up balloons. The less said about that the better. Looks like everything's resolved on that front. Except that Annie stil looks pretty tense.

Matt asks if they can be late for school, and Annie says that everyone's taking the day off. She also mentions that Heather left a message and pretends to forget what the message was. Turns out that Heather is at the Camden's.

Heather is teaching Lucy some sign language. Matt comes in, and they kiss while Lucy looks on smiling.

Eric and Mary pull up to the house. She wants to know what the doctor said earlier. Basically, her knee injury might be extensive enough to prevent her from ever playing basketball again. They're both in near tears for most of the conversation. Mary expresses her determination to fully recover and breaks down in to full on tears. Eric encourages her, and is sure that she can do anything she sets her mind to. She doesn't want to tell the rest of the family just yet, and orders Eric to look happier.

There's a party set up in the backyard. Simon and Ruthie are prying into Grandpa and Ginger's relationship, seeming to push them towards marriage. Wilson asks Annie if she's heard about his situation. Annie tells him that he can visit Mary while she's recovering, giving the family time to get to know him. Surprisingly fair, coming from the Camdens.

Eric wheels Mary into the yard. Hugs all around. They start playing basketball. Wilson is pushing her wheelchair. Annie asks Eric what's wrong, so Eric tells her what the doctor said. Annie notes that Mary is already playing basketball.

They join the game, as the scene fades out, ending the first of many seasons.

Thoughts:

It's completely improbable that Michael Towner would be the driver of the car, but I guess this enables him to learn the lesson he didn't learn in the episode he spent harrassing Mary.

I still can't get over how rude Annie is to her father and Ginger.

The fight scene between Matt and Michael actually resembled the kind of fights people have in high school.

If I were Heather, I would find Matt's showing up at that resteraunt creepy instead of cute.

Also, I really don't understand why Jimmy Moon is so upset about Lucy's hair.

Or why Lucy is so excited when Matt says her hair is sexy. Or why Lucy is hoping her father will find it sexy. Ew, because it can't be said enough.

One season down. Ten to go.

Dangerous Liaisons Part 1

A warning: Annie is fricking crazy in this episode, so don't read further if you are faint-hearted.

The show opens with Annie frantically scrubbing the inside of the refrigerator with a tooth brush. Eric makes a joke, giving Annie an opportunity to run through all the chores she has her family doing. Eric quite patronizing throughout the scene. Annie exposits that she's nervous about her dad visiting since it's the first time he's come to Glen Oak since her mom died. Aww, now I feel bad for her. I'm sure it won't last though. Eric tries to reassure her. Annie realizes that neither she or Eric know what Simon and Ruthie are up to...

Cut to Simon and Ruthie in the bath together, trying to lure Happy into joining them. I don't want to think about that for very long. The parents come in and see the mess they've made. Annie flips out, and Eric makes and unappreciated joke about getting his bathing suit. He promises that he'll make sure the mess is taken care of. Eric mentions again why Annie is nervous as the kids get out of the tub. I am relieved to note they are wearing swimming suits, but it still seems weird that they were in there in the first place given their ages. Simon says he feels sorry for his grandfather, thinking he must be sad and alone.

Cut to Grandpa's flight. He's assuring a nervous woman named Ginger that his family will love her because he loves her. Ruh-Roh.

Back at the Camden's. Annie is frantically making sure everything is in it's proper place. She flips her shit when she finds toys under the couch. She yells at Mary, who tells her the vaccuum didn't fit under the couch. Ruthie wanders in to find out what's going on. Annie sends them to the park. Annie at least apologizes for her insanity, and tells them to be back in half an hour. Mary offers to help and Annie tells her to find a home for a real potato jammed with Mr. Potato Head pieces. As they leave, she finds his wife. I don't think it's very sanitary to have food under your couch like that.

Simon is desperately shoving things into his closet. Lucy comes in without him noticing just in time for him to pull out the Cosmo he's hiding there. Lucy demands that he give it to her because he's too young to be reading Cosmo. He points out that it's not like it's Playboy. I want to know what kind of ten-year old boy reads Cosmo. He correctly asserts that Lucy wants it for herself. Lucy looks quite pleased with herself.

At the airport. Matt tells Eric that Grandpa's flight was delayed. Eric tells him to call Annie, but neither of them has a quarter. Ah, the days when people used payphones and they only cost a quarter. Eric gives him a dollar to break and Matt heads to the phone. He asksa girl for change, but she ignores him completely. She turns around as she passes, but doesn't respond to his question. Eric laughs at him, because that's what strong father figures do.

In her room, Lucy is looking through the illicit Cosmo. She takes some time to look at the cover model, and then gets up to play with her hair in front of her mirror. Simon sneaks in behind her and she gets all self-righteous about it, even though she did the same thing not ten minutes ago. Simon calls her on it, and then suggests she use the sample rinse in the magazine to lighten her hair. I can't figure why he cares at all.

At the park. A boy playing with a baby asks Mary about the potato she's caring. She launches into a long explanation, and then realizes that it's not interesting. The boy agrees with her and introduces himself as Wilson, and the baby as Billy. Mary introduces herself and Ruthie. Ruthie plays cars with Billy, while Mary and Wilson flirt.

Lucy comes into the kitchen to ask Annie if she can dye her hair blonde. Annie is not in the mood to deal with such things at the moment. Simon comes in and asks Annie about Lucy's hair. Seriously, why does he care?
Park. Wilson and Mary are talking when Mary realizes that she's late getting home. Wilson asks her on a date, and she says she has to ask her parents. She gives him her phone number.

Eric rushes into the house in order to tell Annie that her father brought a guest with him. Annie's is too excited about seeing her father to listen. Grandpa comes in and Annie gives him a big hug. Then he introduces her to his girlfriend. Annie is visibly shocked and Matt looks terrified waiting for his mother to react.

Cut to the kitchen. Annie is serving lunch. Or at least announcing the buffet to everyone. She sounds pissed. Mary notes that Annie's acting weird, but Matt's more honest when he says she's freaking out. Annie is in a full on pout that she's failing to hide. Everyone sits down to eat. Eric says a blessing, including a line about peace and harmony, while Annie shoot daggers at Ginger with her eyes.

Ginger tries to give her a compliment about the soup, but Annie brats that it's her mother's recipe. Annie doesn't want to give Ginger the recipe.

Eric tries to change the subject to Matt's attempted pick up at the airport. Ruthie takes this opportunity to tell everyone that Mary gave her phone number to Wilson. Mary admits that he asked her out, but that she wasn't sure because of Grandpa's visit. Simon's response: "I'm sure it'd be okay, I mean Grandpa brought a date." Hee.

Grandpa suggests that Mary should go on her date, and reveals that he and Ginger are staying in a hotel. He invites Annie and Eric out for dinner. Annie is shocked that they'll be staying in a hotel. Ginger assures her they got a 2-for-1 deal through their travel club. Simon notes that this sounds like the two plan to do some travelling together, causing Annie to make one of her many faces of disdain. The kids show their approval, and Annie pouts some more.

Upstairs. Mary likes Ginger, but Lucy is supporting her mom on this one. Because Lucy will do anything to curry favor with her parents. Ruthie is agreeing with Mary. Wilson calls Mary, causing Lucy and Ruthie to make kissy noises. She throws a pillow at them.

Living Room. Simon is asking for all the details of how Grandpa and Ginger met. He's really quite oblivious to the general tension. Basically, this scene lets us know that they've been dating for three months. Simon wants to know if their getting married and they laugh at him. It is also noted that Ginger's kids don't like Grandpa. Finally, Grandpa changes the subject by asking about Happy.

Kitchen. Matt is scrubbing the stove, while Annie frenetically scrubs the sink. He asks if she's okay, and she say no. Eric rushes in, having taken out the trash, and asks what else he can do. Annie tells him to get Ginger on the next flight out of her father's life. Matt has the balls to suggest that Annie is being to tough on Ginger. Annie turns to glare at him while he continues to talk her up. Behind Annie, Eric is making "quit-it" gestures. Matt misinterprets and tries to back track, but the idea that Grandpa is having a fling doesn't sit well with Annie. Matt is about to dig himself in deeper, when Grandpa comes in to ask for a ride to their hotel. Annie brattily offers Matt the honor. Grandpa asks what they thought of Ginger, giving Annie the opportunity to sarcastically say that she's swell. Overly cheerful, Matt suggests they head out. Eric promises to make a dinner reservation.

He then makes the mistake of trying to comfort Annie. She just wants to vent, and unloads a torrent of questions that boil down to her feeling like her father is disrespecting her mother's memory by dating so soon. Eric tries to make a joke, but Annie yells at him.

Lucy chooses this opportunity to ask again about dying her hair. Annie replies that, "It is unforgivable." But I think she's still venting about her father. Eric distractedly gives her permisison, and she takes off smiling.

Annie decides to call the hotel to find out if they're staying in the same room. But she fails because she doesn't know Ginger's last name. She chews out the poor guy who answered the phone when he doesn't know if anyone named Ginger registered for a room. Eric suggestion that she try to relax is met with a "Bite me."

In Matt's car, Grandpa is assuring Ginger that Annie will come around once she gets to know her. They also happen to spot the girl Matt tried to talk to at the airport. Grandpa encourages him to knock on her door, thinking this is romantic instead of creepy.

Unfortunately for us, Matt takes the advice. He knocks on the door and word vomits to the girl's mother until she agrees to let him talk to her daughter. He assures her that he's not a stalker. Heh.

Heather's mom goes to get her. Matt starts to word-vomit again. Until he notices that Heather keeps glancing at her mother. He glances up and sees her mom signing the conversation. Because Heather is deaf. Matt asks her out. Her mother encourages her to get to know her neighbors. Maybe
Heather's mom should date Matt. He asks her to a party and she relents.

Night. Matt is trying to get Simon to teach him any sign language learned from Sesame Street. Simon is not being very helpful, so Matt threatens not to give him advice about girls when he gets older. Simon doesn't want Matt's advice because Matt can't usually get past a third date. Finally, Simon remembers the sign for turtle. Matt is not pleased.

Eric tries to convince Annie to come out to dinner with him and her father. She's not hungry. Eric asks if she's told her father, to which she replies, "Why should I? He didn't tell me he was tom-catting around with that woman." Seriously, Annie? Tom-catting?

Eric points out that she can't ignore her father for the whole visit. But Annie believes otherwise. She's making a lot of scary faces.

Wilson comes by to pick up Mary. Eric gives him a hard time, and Mary is embarrassed. Wilson gives Mary flowers, and chocolates for Ruthie. He plans to take Mary to the Pool Hall. Wilson lays on the responsibility charm, but Eric isn't sure he wants to let Mary go out with a stranger. Turns out that Eric knows Wilson's father. Wilson offers him a beeper number, which Eric takes, granting the kids permission to go out. Eric turns to find Ruthie already digging in to her chocolats.

Eric again tries to persuade Annie to deal with her father. Grandpa calls, and Eric tries to hedge. Grandpa goes on to describe exactly how Annie's reacting to the situation. Eric hangs up, and Annie announces that she doesn't want to talk about it. But Eric can't resist giving it one more go. Annie breaks down in tears and says she really hates Ginger.

Matt and Heather's date. He insists on openin the door for her, but it's kinda awkward. She's helpfully brought a notepad so that they can communicate. Matt turns on the radio, realizes his mistake and turns it back off. Heather turns it back on, and writes that he shoudl drive. They head out.

Pool Hall. Mary is kicking Wilson's butt at pinball, when Michael Towner approaches and gives them a bunch of crap. Wilson tries to take control of the situation, but Mary takes control herself. Wilson is not happy.

Lucy and Ruthie wander into Lucy's room. Lucy has a towel on her head, and Ruthie is complaining that only Annie should be blonde. Ruthie doesn't think that Jimmy Moon won't like the change. Simon thinks otherwise and continues to show way too much interest in Lucy's hair style. He hands her a hair-dryer.

Party. Matt and Heather are dancing. Everything is going well until Heather glances up and sees some fellow party-goers making fun of her. Heather runs off, and Matt makes idle threats. He follows Heather, but she just wants to go home.

Cam-Mansion. Ginger comes over to talk to Annie, but Annie doesn't want to. Eric invites her in to talk to him instead. Eric is optimistic about his ability to fix this. Ginger exposits about how much Charles means to her, but that she thinks it's too hard since no one in their families approves. Eric encourages them to stick it out.

Lucy comes down stairs, very blonde. Eric's not sure what to think, but Lucy is clearly upset. It doesn't look great, but it doesn't look nearly as bad as her hair in later seasons. She blames Eric for giving her permisison. He's not very helpful.

Annie is curled up in bed when Simon comes in. She tries to brush him off, but he's determined to talk. Simon shares some of the insight that Grandpa shared about Ginger's kids. Annie sympathizes with them.

Mary and Wilson return, fighting about how she handled the situation with Michael Towner. Matt comes up to ask about it. Mary stomps off. Matt offers to talk to her for Wilson, and then introduces himself. Wilson expresses doubts that there will be another date.

Inside, Simon begs Matt to compliment Lucy and Mary orders him not to lecture her. Lucy and Eric come in with ice cream and Matt tries to compliment her. He doesn't do a very good job, and Lucy plans on killing Simon before she goes to bed. Eric tries to explain the situation to Matt.
Eric asks about the date. Matt admits he doesn't know quite what happened. Eric reccommends that he invite Heather and her mother to church. Matt doesn't think church is the answer to every problem, but Eric thinks it's "possible that it is." Thus explaining subsequent seasons of the program.

Matt decides to take Eric's advice. Eric eavesdrops from the other room.
Church. Annie and Mary are greeting people. Wilson comes up, with Billy, and apologizes for the night before. Mary apologizes, too. Annie introduces herself and Wilson introduces Billy. She assumes that Billy is Wilson's little brother. Annie excuses herself, and Wilson takes the opportunity to tell Mary that Billy is his son. Mary doesn't look like she knows how to react.

As everyone is sitting down for the service, Grandpa and Ginger arrive. This causes Annie to flee the church. Mary exchanges significant looks with Eric, and then gets up to follow her.

Outside. Annie has crossed the street. Mary calls out to her and starts to follow. But forgets to look both ways, and is hit by a car, complete with squealing tire sound effects. The car drives off, as Annie scream. Everyone comes out of the church as Catherine Hicks tries to convey panic.

To Be Continued...

Thoughts:
Okay, I realize that not much time has passed since Grandma died, and that Grandpa maybe shouldn't have surprised his daughter, but wow, Annie was bitchy toward him and Ginger.

Also, if Grandpa knew how his daughter was going to react, why not give the family a heads up? Might give them time to get used to the idea.

Also, Simon, seriously, why do care what Lucy does with her hair? And why are you hiding Cosmo in your closet?

This episode marks both the beginning of Matt and Heather and the beginning of Wilson and Mary. Plotlines that will not be wrapped up until the sixth and eighth seasons. Joy.

The next episode is the season finale. I can't believe I've almost finished Season 1!

No Funerals and a Wedding

The episode begins at Grandma's burial. People are offering condolences to the family. Everyone seems drained. Grandpa seems to be withdrawn, and is making weird jokes. He leaves for Arizona before the reception. Annie feels abandoned. Everyone else is shocked.

The reception is being held in the Camden's home. The kids make jokes about everybody bringing food. Annie expresses her understandablt anger at her father leaving, and Eric tries to make excuses for him. She's not having it though.

Eric tells Simon and Lucy that Annie really needs everyone's help today. Simon is acting way too cheerful.

Matt and Renee are discussing her pregnancy. It is revealed that her family is out of town. She nicely offers her condolences to Annie, but follows it by commenting about how her mom abandoned her. Really, Renee? Is this the time to play the poor-abandoned child card?

In the most annoying of the subplots, the Reverend is watching a couple being over the top affectionate. Really people, you're at a funeral reception, save this kind of sickening sweet baby talk for the privacy of your own home so that no one has to be subjected to it. They've been married for almost 8 months.

Annie asks Matt to see if anyone needs coffee, and he asks if he can go to his friend's afterwards. Seriously. Matt, you're at a funeral reception for your grandmother. You cannot just leave to go hang out with your friends. Annie agrees with me, wanting the family to be together for the day.

Ruthie wants Annie to sing her Grandma's song. Annie promises they'll sing it later.

Mary and Lucy discuss that they miss their grandma. Mary's boyfriend calls and she doesn't want to talk to him.

A nosy parishoner won't stop asking Annie why her father isn't at the reception. They are interupted by Simon asking about the exact location of heaven. He is not satisfied by Annie's answer.

Mary thinks her boyfriend is clingy. Matt doesn't think men are capable of being clingy. This could explain all of his future relationships. Matt offers to straighten the boy out, but Mary admirably wants to break up with him herself. Matt is upset that Mary is dumping his friend.

Simon is trying to get his father, the minister, to tell him where heaven is. How has the family not addressed this before? Simon notices a woman crying hysterically in a corner of the yard. It's the same woman who was cooing over her husband in the earlier scene.

Eric goes to talk to her, thinking she's upset about the death. Turns out she just thinks her husband is having an affair. Seriously. Maybe this would be more appropriate for a day when you're not at a funeral reception, and talking to a member of the deceased's family. Eric tries to have her make an appointment, but the woman refuses be to detered from ranting about her husband's alleged affair.

Mary's boyfriend shows up and tries to be supportive. Mary doesn't want to deal with him right now.

The overly affectionate man is waiting for Eric in his home office. He at least acknowledges that his timing is inappropriate, but that doesn't stop him from venting about his marital issues. Seriously, this can't even wait until the next day??

Instead of suggesting this, Eric invites him to talk it out. Turns out the actual issue is not that he's having an affair, but that his divorce from his first marriage wasn't quite final before his second wedding. Really? How did they get a marriage certificate then? The guy hadn't even bothered to tell his wife that he'd been married before.

Matt is trying to save his sister's relationship with her boyfriend. I don't know why.

While Eric is busy playing marriage counselor, Annie is crying alone in their bedroom. Eric sucks. Ruthie asks to sing Grandma's song and Annie tells her the story behind it, which was related in the previous episode. Annie's about to start singing, when Renee wanders in to announce that she's in labor. Of course she is.

Simon is still trying to figure out where heaven is physically located.

Matt takes Renee to the hospital in the limo. Annie is upset that he's leaving, but Matt doesn't want her to be alone at the hospital. Eric is surprised that Annie let him go, but he doesn't get an opinion anymore. He does comment that watching Renee deliver her baby should be more effective than a birth control lecture. Heh. But Eric, you still suck.

The boyfriend tries to be aloof. He fails.

Lucy is crying in the hallway. Eric comes by looking for Annie. They talk. It's a pretty well done scene. Still doesn't make up for the continual abandonment of your wife at her mother's funeral reception, Reverend.

Simon and the boyfriend discuss heaven.

Annie and Mary talk. Annie feels abandoned and Mary lets her know that she's there for her. Aww. I like season 1 Mary. She encourages Annie to talk to her father about how she's feeling. At least someone in the family is trying to comfort Annie.

Lucy reveals that Mary is planning to dump the boyfriend.

Renee is in having contractions and Matt is freaked out. He goes to see if any of her family is around., but really it's just an excuse to leave the room.

Eric is still trying to fix the stupid couples marital problems. Really, Eric, your wife's mother just died, this can't wait a day??

Annie calls her father and chews him out on his answering machine. She's pretty harsh, but her mom just died, and most of her family is ignoring her, so it's understandable.

Matt wants his mom to come bail him out of hanging out in the delivery room, but Mary won't let him talk to her because she's finally resting. She also says that if they figure out where their father is, that it will be more important for him to be with Annie. Lucy is trying to get her attention, as well. Mary tells Matt to suck it up and handle the situation at the hospital. Mary rocks this episode.

There's a crash, and everybody goes to see what happened. The stupid couple is screaming in Eric's offices. Vases are thrown. Eric blows off his grieving wife.

Simon is still annoying people with his heaven question.

Mary breaks up with her boyfriend. She calls him on his crappy timing for the discussion, considering that they are at a reception of her grandmother's funeral.

Renee is delivering her baby. Matt holds her hand, and pointedly stares in the other direction.

Eric and Simon discuss heaven as he's hanging a 'Do not disturb sign' on his door. He's about to go find his wife when he gets sucked back into the marital fighting. Good lord, he sucks.

Annie calls her father again and apologizes about her first message on his answering machine. She's also worried that he's not home yet.

Mary and her ex talk it out. They decide to be friends.

Simon brings his mom a tray of food. She's touched. They discuss his question. Simon notes that Eric is no help. Very true.

Renee has a girl. Matt is amazed, once he gets the courage to look at the baby.

Eric breezes into the bedroom, and Annie asks where he's been all day. He starts unloading the whole story of the fighting couple. She is understandably disgusted and tries to talk about it. He actually tells her he has one more thing to take care before he can spend time with his grieving wife. He asks her to meet him at the church in ten minutes. She reluctantly agrees to go. If I were her I'd be looking for a good divorce lawyer.

Ruthie manages to answer Simon's question about heaven. Her answer suggests some pretty new age theology.

Annie arrives at the church in time to see the couple get married for real. She starts mouthing her own vows. No, Annie, get out while you can.

Matt comes home to find Mary and the ex playing basketball. He orders that they break up, because of witnessing the birth of Renee's baby. They let him think he convinced them. No, Mary, now he'll never butt out of your personal life!

Annie has forgiven Eric. She thinks she was transfering her anger about her father leaving onto her husband. I think her husband spent the whole day ignoring her, and she has every right to be upset with him.

The kids are eating pie straight from the pie plate. Eric carries Annie through the door. Ruthie wants to sing Grandma's song. Annie promises to sing it to her after she gets ready for bed.

Renee's gonna name her baby after the grandmother. Simon didn't know what his grandmother's first name was. Really Simon? You're ten. You should know these things.

Annie gives Ruthie a speech about always being there for her. Her father, who never actually left Glen Oak, overhears. He apologizes for leaving her after the funeral. He explains why he left, and they sing the Camp Granada song.

The family hears them from the kitchen downstairs and all join in as the episode draws to a close.

Final Thought:
I cannot believe how badly Eric treats Annie at her mother's funeral reception. Someone probably thought the subplot would be light, comic relief, but it's really just appalling.

Mary was a pretty cool character in season one.

Family Secrets

We open with Happy eating Eric's shoes. Simon is trying to hide it and lies to Ruthie to keep it a secret. He becomes uber-helpful to compensate for the inevitable trouble he is in when his parents find out.

The grandparents are on their way out, and have been buying the kids presents that the 'rents don't approve of. Grandpa asks if anyone can keep a secret. After eleven seasons, I think it's safe to say that none of the Camdens are capable of keeping secrets at all.

Matt starts to intuit that something's wrong with Grandma, but the parents won't tell him what it is. Grandma still wants to keep her illness a secret, and still doesn't want treatment. Eric and Annie try to keep the in town by standing in front of their car so they can't leave without running them over. Credits.

All the kids are pitching in with the dishes when the phone rings. Mary and Lucy race for it, but Matt gets there first. The caller hangs on up on him-- wise move in my opinion. Matt pries into his sisters' business, but the sensibly leave the room. Except for Ruthie, who Matt cons into revealing that Mary is waiting for his friend Jeff to call. Which he would have known already if he'd been paying any attention to the last episode.

Simon panics about Happy's pregnancy. They really should take the dog to a vet for confirmation. I wouldn't take the word of a teenager with no medical training. Certainly not enough to panic over telling my parents. Matt nicely pawns off all his chores on to the poor boy.

Mary and Lucy wish to be more technologically in touch with the world while they wait for their phone calls. Lucy doesn't want to tell Mary whose going to call her. Mary blocks her path to the bathroom and threatens to tickle her until she tells. Nice.
Matt is on the phone trying convince some girl to let him bring her dinner.

Lucy cracks, and we are introduced to Lucy's obsession to Jimmy Moon. Mary advises Lucy to lie about why Jimmy is calling if asked by their parents.

Their conversation is interrupted by Jeff calling for Mary. Lucy would rather listen to Mary's phonecall than pee, even though she really had to go a moment ago. God, these people are nosy.

Simon is still being over-helpful.

Matt wants to borrow the car to go to the library. His mother expresses disbelief, but lets him use the car. She hugs him way too long and he leaves.

Night. Shots af all the Camdens sleeping. Except for one.... Shockingly Matt has not yet come home from the library. I can't believe parents as amazing as Eric and Annie are supposed to be went to bed before their newly licensed, teen-aged son got home.
Morning. Eric is pacing nervously around the kitchen when Matt tries to sneak in. He shouts loud enough to wake the whole family. Eric grills Matt about his watch and the lack of a phone call. Matt stupidly reveals that he spent the night at a girl's house. Eric wants to know if he's lost his mind. I think that sums up his character rather nicely.

Annie catches the rest of her children listening on the stairs and sends them back to their rooms with a look.

Matt tries to explain to his parents, but he's grounded anyway.

Mary and Lucy try to figure out what happened. Lucy thinks Matt was making out with the girl all night. Mary suddenly decides she doesn't want to talk about Matt's love life anymore. Jealous?

Ruthie tries to figure out who is in trouble and reminds us that she is on the show.

Simon pumps Matt for information. He thinks he can tell his parents about Happy now that Matt is such big trouble. Matt talks him into waiting til they get good news. So he can spoil a good mood instead of feeding a bad mood, I guess.

Eric can't find his shoes and Annie tries to teach Ruthie the alphabet. Ruthie won't tell him where his shoes are, and scampers out of the room. Eric tries to talk sexy, but Annie wants to talk about Matt's punishment. Eric decides that he can't drive except to and from school and the library for three weeks. Annie tries to talk him down, but he is insistent.

School-- Matt tells Jeff that Mary is only interested in dating him because she's desperate to get kissed.

Hospital-- Eric's feet hurt in his fancy shoes. A sexy nurse tries to hit on him by having the shoes resized. She doesn't believe he's a minister because he's not wearing a collar and she doesn't believe he's married because he left his ring at home. He gives her his shoes and she walks away like the temtress she is trying to be. Eric doesn't seem to notice.

School-- Lucy is surrounded by friends, waiting for Jimmy Moon to walk by. He doesn't say anything and her friends are disappointed. He does turn to look at her, and she seems pleased.

Everyone arrives home from school and heads straight for the fridge. Annie comments on Happy's weight and Simon babbles. Ruthie nearly reveals Simon shoe hiding.
Matt finds out he's grounded and he's not happy. He still won't tell his mom anything about the girl he spent the night with. His mom is still surprised he's been going to the library. Annie wants him to bring her by to meet her. Matt goes to the library.
Happy eats a shoe outside and Simon has to figure out how to get the shoe inside without Annie seeing. He's terrible at lying.

Matt's friend calls, and Annie invites her to dinner without asking Matt first.
Mary calls Jeff instead of waiting for him to call her and encourages Lucy to do the same.

Eric comes home without his shoes and Annie is suspicious of the nurse. Matt is not happy that Annie invited his friend to dinner.

Matt's announcement about his friend is cut short when she comes in the dining room and she's obviously pregnant. The parents panic, but the baby is not Matt's. Simon decides that this is the best time to tell his parents that Happy is pregnant and craving Eric's shoes. Eric looks to heaven.

During dinner, Simon bombards the poor girl with embarassing questions. Eric tries to spare her, but nobody else wants to talk.

Eric and Matt talk. Matt wants to talk about Grandma. Eric wants to help Renee get back in touch with her parents and the baby's father. He assumes that's what she needs most right now. He's making a lot of assumptions considering he knows nothing about her situation with either her parents or the baby-daddy.

Mary and Lucy are in their room walking around with basketballs under their shirts. Nice. Lucy reveals that she doesn't know where babies come from and Mary helpfully tells her if she stops at the kissing part, she won't have to worry about the pregnant part. Cause keeping girls ignorant always keeps them from having the sex. They are interupted by the ringing phone.

Mary busts in on Matt and Eric's conversation. Apparently Jeff doesn't want to date a girl who might want to kiss him. She yells at Matt for talking to Jeff about her. He tells her if she goes out with his best friend, they're going to talk about her. Eric suggests that Mary tell Jeff she doesn't want to kiss him to prove that she's not using the boy. Mary wanders off in the middle of his speech, and Matt worries that Mary is well on her way to getting pregnant because she wants to date.

Renee and Annie discuss her pregnancy. Renee is being awfully open with this woman she met an hour ago. None of this is really Annie's business.

Eric tries to talk to Renee's father. He repeatedly gets the door shut in his face. It's pretty awesome to watch.

Simon returns all the half-eaten shoes. He's not in that much trouble. Simon is trying to think of a way to pay for them. Ruthie is watching this for some reason.

Matt and Annie bond over English Lit and she tells him about Grandma's illness.

Eric tries to talk to Matt about Grandma and Matt blows him off. He doesn't think they should tell the kids. Um, hello, Matt, you are one of the kids, not their third parent. It's really not up to whether your parents share this info with your siblings or not.

Mary and Jeff are back on for their date, and they've agreed to no kissing. Any bets on how long that lasts?

Eric, beginning the trend of butting into other people's business, goes to confront Renee's baby-daddy. He assumes the guy in yard fixing a motorcycle is the father. You know what they say about assumptions... The guy is pretty defensive and Eric's pretty rude about asking him about employment. But he also has a job lined up for the guy. Reverend Camden seems to have some serious connections.

Jimmy Moon asks Lucy if she likes him. She gets tongue tied, so he assumes that his friends are playing a joke. He walks off. It's as interesting as it sounds. Lucy looks crushed.

Simon thinks Matt should marry Renee. Matt thinks this is a stupid idea and he is correct.

The real baby-daddy comes by to thank the reverand for the job. Eric gets roped into trying to find a job for his older brother, and guilt-trips the kid into attending church on Sunday. Evangelism in action.

Mary is excited about her date, despite the no kissing agreement. Lucy is crying and reading Sassy. She's sad because she didn't know how to talk to Jimmy Moon. Mary tries to comfort her.

Annie suggests that Matt call his Grandma. Matt is nervous, but agrees to do so. Matt still doesn't want to talk to Eric about it. Eric is puzzled by this distance and it is revealed that he and his dad are also not close.

Simon wants to set up a lemonade stand to pay his dad back. He wants to sell it between the services. Good thing they don't live in Oregon. Upon realizing that this is not a financially sound investment, Simon decides to give the lemonade away as his community service, so that people will stay for church. Why are the Camdens trying so hard to trick people into attending their services?

Lucy calls Jimmy Moon. She doesn't even wait for an answer or the machine to pick up before blurting out that she didn't know what to say, but since this is tv, we can probably assume that Jimmy Moon got the message.

Eric doesn't let Matt go to the library on Friday, or anywhere else, because he's grounded. Eric offers to take him to play pool, but Matt sensibly doesn't want to be seen with him.

The doorbell rings and the entire family answers the door, thinking it's Mary's date. Instead, Jimmy Moon is on the doorstep asking for Lucy.

Eric and Annie are reading in bed. Eric is obviously nervous about Mary's date and keeps making excuses to go down stairs. Annie calls him out for waiting up for his daughter. He and Lucy meet in the hallway and try to lie to each other about waiting for Mary and Jimmy Moon repectively. They then apologize for lying to each other.

Matt is on the phone with his grandma.

Eric opens the door to let Happy out and finds Mary and Jeff making out on the porch. He closes the door on them.

Simon gives away the lemonade and reveals that his dad needs new shoes. The parishoners think they are running low on cash and start making mad donations to the lemonade stand.

The nurse from earlier has brought Eric's shoes and Annie looks jealous.
Renee has joined the choir and gets a solo her first week. Matt greets Renee's father listening outside the church and invites him to come inside. Aww.

Best quote:
"As long as Dad's a minister, we're never going to have normal lives."
Mary, you have never spoken truer words.