It's About George

We open with the Colonel (yea!) and the rest of the family waiting to take Julie home from Rehab. The Colonel thinks they shoud have waited for Eric to finish with some meeting. George gives him a pep talk. Julie comes down and expresses nervousness about seeing her parents and meeting George. Everyone tries to be reassuring. Julie and her parents make some awkward conversation. George promises to look out for her.

Eric is playing pool while he waits for the Chief of Police. Something about reacclimating a cop by the name of Will Grayson who just got out of the witness protection program. Will and the Chief meet with Eric. Will is going back on the force. His real issue is to locate his son, who he gave up for adoption before he testified in some Mafia trial. He reveals the kid would be about 10 and his name is George. Because no coincidence is too unlikely for 7th Heaven to take on.

Back at the Camden's, Mary and Lucy are trying to prepare Jimmy Moon for meeting the Colonel. Matt thinks this pointless, as the Colonel and Ruth will most likely tear him to shreds anyway. He and Mary role play to demonstrate how the meeting will most likely go. This causes Matt to uses a breadstick as a fake cigar. They do a fair impression of their grandparents. Jimmy thinks they're exaggerating. Lucy suggests he comes back tomorrow. To which he replies, "Whatever." Whatever indeed Mr. Moon.

Upstairs, the Colonel and Ruth try to talk to Julie about her future plans. She's looking forward to spending sometime with her brother's family. Julie points out that she just got out of rehab and hasn't had time to think about it. The scene amounts to the Colonel and Ruth trying to get of sense of Julie's plans and Julie feeling pressured by it. They offer to put her up at their home, but Julie seems reluctant. Julie and her parents seem awkward and distant from each other. Julie looks like she's having trouble coping with her parents.

Garage. George and Simon still don't like each other.

Night. The family is sitting around the dinner table while Eric tells a story about the Colonel picking a fight with Mickey Mouse at Disney Land. Everyone finds it amusing. Except Julie, who suggests that the Colonel could take George to Magic Mountain and beat up Bugs Bunny. An awkward silence descends, which Annie breaks by telling everyone she's been building a boat for the Colonel and George. She leads everyone out to see it, so that Julie and Eric can talk.

She tells Eric that she's having a hard time, especially with her parents around. They have a sweet moment. Then she asks if something is wrong. Eric admits that there is, and that it's about George.

Outside, the boat looks like a disaster waiting to happen. With boards sticking out and random colors of paint. Annie tries to defend it as a work in progress, but that doesn't stop her children from laughing at her. Ruth joins in, but George asks the Colonel for permission to laugh and is denied. Instead the Colonel gives a speech about an incident in the Korean War. He tells Annie that he and George will be proud to sail in the boat. Everyone else is still laughing at Annie though.

Bedtime. Lucy and Mary are sharing their room with Julie and Ruthie. Lucy is prying into Julie's life plan, but Julie hasn't found any answers in the last few hours. She tells the girls that she needs to figure out where she wants to live. Then she changes the subject to ask about Mary's basketball career and Lucy's boyfriend. After making Lucy more nervous about the prospect of having Jimmy Moon meet the Colonel, Ruthie asks why Julie doesn't like the Colonel. Julie fudges an answer and everyone encourages her to give a chance because George has changed them so much. This causes Julie to get quiet. Everyone goes to bed. Lucy and Mary think somethings up.

The Colonel and Ruth are in the master bedroom. He's upset about how Julie's been acting. Ruth tries to make him feel better about it. They start talking about George, all happy about having him in the family.

Eric and Annie are trying to share Matt's twin bed again. Because that was so much fun the last time the Colonel was in town. Eric tells her about the situation with Will Grayson and his son. Annie thinks this is a good idea, until she learns that it's George that Eric is talking about. They both look sad.

Morning. Jimmy meets Lucy grandparents. The Colonel and Ruth replay the exact scene Matt and Mary performed earlier. It's actually pretty funny. Especially since Jimmy and Lucy both look terrified. The Colonel dismisses them and the two adults laugh at their joke. Eric pops in to ask them into his office to talk.

Outside, Jimmy and Lucy are discussing the meeting. Jimmy tries to pretend he wasn't properly prepared, but Lucy calls him on it. He agrees, saying he fell victim to his own arrogance. What teenager talks like that?

In Eric's office, Eric breaks the news about George to his parents. They take it pretty hard. The Colonel asks Eric to help them keep custody of George, but Eric says there's nothing he can do. The Colonel storms out, and Ruth asks Eric if he knew what it took for the Colonel to ask for help. She then asks Eric if he thinks that Will Grayson should get custody of George. Eric makes the mistake of indicating a yes answer, earning him a slap across the face. It's pretty awesome to watch. Ruth looks pretty shocked at her action, saying she and the Colonel don't know how to be helpless.

George reveals that is really is a Camden by coming out from hiding behind a cabinet. Eric convinces George to meet the guy. George leaves, and Eric actually starts praying. Which happens surprisingly little for a show about a minister.
George is hanging with Simon and Ruthie, preparing to meet his father. Ruth and the Colonel come in to assure him that they intend to fight for custody. Eric comes in to take George to the meeting. Ruthie gives him a hug and Simon gives him a pat on the shoulder for good measure. They both look despondent.

George is nervous about meeting his father. Eric talks him up. Will meets them there, and apologizes for uprooting him one more time. George asks for a timeline. He's pretty stoic about it. He announces that he'll wait outside. Eric and Will discuss him a bit, until Eric remembers that George has a history of running away. They both head outside, but George is nowhere to be seen.

Night. Julie is trying to comfort her mother, but makes the mistake of refering to Will as his father. Ruth corrects her, insisting that the Colonel is George's father. Annie is making tea. Julie is trying to be way to rational about the situation, which is not comforting to Ruth. Ruth confronts Julie on her behaviour towards her father. Julie calls her father 'a stone,' causing Ruth to go on a rant about how the entire situation is Julie's fault. Her rationale doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but her kid is missing, she's not thinking straight. Annie tries too late to head off the fight. Ruth tries to apologize, but Julie's not hearing it. She starts yelling at her mother about what a loser she is, but blames her mother for raising her that way. Ruth responds by denying respnsibility and leaving the room.

Church. George is stealing from Eric's office, when Eric catches him. George is feeling torn between the Camdens and his father. He thinks they're both great. How he knows Will is great after a ten second meeting, I'm not sure. Eric convinces him to come back to the Cam-mansion.

The Colonel is sitting outside alone. Mary comes out to tell him that George is back. Mary heads off to bed, pausing to tell the Colonel that she loves him.
Julie is sneaking around the kitchen with a bottle of wine. Matt catches her and talks her out of drinking it. Julie tries to make excuses, but Matt suggests she talk to her father instead.

He's outside, sitting in Annie's boat, crying. Julie goes out to comfort him. He feels as though he's lost his children, but Julie climbs in the boat next to him to tell him that she's not lost. They make up and comfort each other. Ruth watches from the window.

Morning. Julie tells Matt that she didn't take the drink. George asks Simon to look out for the Colonel and Ruth. Simon promises. The boys seem to be getting along better. Simon catches Ruthie listening at the door.

In Eric's office, the Colonel is trashing a plan that Eric has come up with. Will Grayson thinks it is ridiculous as well. The women in the room think it's a great plan. Eric tries to spin it as what's best for George. Annie suggests they fix up their guest house for George's father. Ruth reveals they were planning to offer it to Julie. This is news to the Colonel.

Will wants to know what he's supposed to do in New York, and Eric suggests that they need cops there, too. Will says applying for a transfer would take months, so Ruth offer's the Colonel's connections to speed the process. The Colonel doesn't want to, but Ruth lays down the law, even going so far as to call him John. Eventually all the adults agree.

The Colonel catches all the kids listening at the door and sends them to get their bags. He has George, Lucy and Jimmy Moon wait because he wants to talk to them. He sends the lovebirds to the living room, and offers George a choice between going back with Will or with them. He chooses the Camdens.

Julie wonders how they're going to get the boat to New York. She and Will go to look at it. It looks much more finished. He invites her to ride with him to New York, and she agrees. I sense sparks.

The Colonel and Ruth apoloogize to Jimmy Moon for their behavior at their earlier meeting. The Colonel still manages to freak him out, suggesting that if anyone were to hurt Lucy he'd hunt them down like a dog. Jimmy accepts the apology. He still thinks they're scary.

In the kitchen, Annie, Eric and Julie beg Matt and Mary to do their impression of the Colonel and Ruth. Matt and Mary are reluctant at first, but eventually give in. They really get into, and the adults find it amusing, until the Colonel and Ruth come into the kitchen. Fortunately, the grandparents find it as amusing as I do. Laughs and hugs all round.

Thoughts:

Eric should not have been involved in George's situation due to the obvious conflict of interest. And also, how is it that none of these adults hired a lawyer?

Also, what if George had been adopted as an infant? It seems that whatever the situation, Will was unnecessarily disrupting George's life.

So, did the Camdens just leave their liquor cabinet stocked, knowing that they would be hosting a woman who just got out of rehab, or did Julie make the effort to buy that bottle of wine?

Matt and Mary's impression of their grandparents is pretty funny.

Choices

High School. Mary nervously approaches detention. Mary you got two detentions in the last episode, you shouldn't be so nervous. She sits down next to Keri Russell, aka Felicity, (character name in this show Camille). Felicity assures her that no one bites. They introduce themselves and swap stories about why they're doing time. Mary is shocked that Felicity was smoking in the boys locker room. I can only assume that she is shocked by the smoking since she spent much of the last episode in a Men's restroom. Felicity invites her to hang out at the mall, and suggests that Mary find a way to get her parents to loosen up. Felicity, the Camden's are control freaks-- they will never loosen up.

Camden Mansion. Ruthie is begging her mom to get her a pet. Annie is not on board with this plan. The kids come home from school, sans Mary. Matt covers for her, saying she's at an off-season basket ball practice. Annie is impressed.

Annie tells Lucy that Eric wants to talk to her. Lucy worries that she's in trouble, and Annie wants to know why she'd think that.

A cab pulls up to the Camden Mansion. The man drops a $50 as he's paying the driver. He rings the doorbell, and Annie greets him with such excitement that I wonder if this explains the mystery of Ruthie's origin. That Eric is decidely unpleased to see him doesn't do much to change my mind.

Annie serves her guest, Tom, tea, while Eric tries to hold it together. Tom used to be Eric's associate rector. Annie can't stop gushing. Tom wants his old job back, and Eric seems not at all sorry to tell him that there's no openings. Tom offers to get a hotel, but Annie insists that he stay with the Camdens. Maybe she's hoping for another go? Though if that's the case, a hotel would be easier to sneak out to than trying to keep secrets at home. Maybe she's trying to avoid temptation.

Eric tells her that he's never liked Tom, and Annie is shocked. Eric revelation that Tom seems to be hiding something causes Annie to hightail it out of the room. Annie, you're not helping ease my suspicions.

Lucy comes in to talk to Eric. He tells her that she can start confirmation classes. Lucy is relieved that she's not in trouble.

Simon and Ruthie are walking Happy. They find Tom's $50. They debate about whether to keep it. I think we can all see where this is headed.

Mary tries to sneak in through the kitchen, but Annie catches her and asks about practice. Mary asks about going to the mall with Felicity, and Matt seems to think he has a say. He denies her permission before Annie can even respond. Annie asks some questions, but does give permission. She also reveals that Tom is visiting. Who Mary describes as the really good looking guy. Annie concurs, and leaves to set the table. This gives Matt an opportunity to try to control Mary's social circle, but she doesn't let him. Because Mary is almost normal in season one.

Simon and Ruthie decide to keep the money. They debate it for awhile, but eventually that is the conclusion they come to.

Tom is reading in the living room, when Lucy pops in to say hello. She asks him to help her study for confirmation classes, at her mother's suggestion. He manages to impress upon her the seriousness of the choice. Lucy is surprised to hear she has a choice...
Eric is picking at the salad Annie preparing for dinner and whining about how he knows Tom has a secret. Annie starts extolling his virtues to such a degree that I'm sure Eric is unaware of the mystery of Ruthie's origin. Because otherwise, she's being quite insensitive. Eric is surprised to hear that his wife finds Tom attractive, and Annie does little to ease his mind when she sarcastically tells Eric that he is more good looking than Tom.

Tom interupts to offer to help with dinner. He and Annie bond over recipes and don't notice when Eric sneaks out of the kitchen.

Simon and Ruthie ask Eric to take them to the mall, but Matt suggests that they go with Mary and her friend. Matt, butt out, it's just the mall. Mary expresses her annoyance by chucking her basketball at Matt's head.

Annie and Tom giggle in the kitchen. He almost spills his secret, but decides that he's not ready. When Annie goes to set the table, Tom pulls out a bottle of pills and takes one. Dun, dun, dun.

Evening. Eric is avoiding Tom by claiming he has paperwork to do. Annie tries to encourage him to hang out with Tom. Lucy interupts them to ask her dad for a book on Buddhism. She's interested in looking at all her religious options. She picked Buddhism because of Richarch Gere. Eric pretends to be cool with his daughter's exploration.

At the mall, Simon and Ruthie are tired of watching Mary and Felicity shop for clothes. They ask permission to go to the nearby pet store. Felicity convinces Mary to let them.
The girls go to try on dresses and Felicity invites Mary to a fraternity party. She also introduces Mary to the concept of sneaking out.

Tom and Annie are playing cards. Annie is having way too much fun. Eric comes in and announces that a parishoner called and asked him to drop by. There's a lot of back story, but since we never see this woman again, I don't care that much. Eric invites Tom to come with him, but Tom refuses. He heads to bed abruptly. Eric reiterates that Tom has a secret, and Annie offers to go visit the parishoner with him.

Annie asks Matt to watch Lucy on her way out and Matt agrees on the grounds that he "has no life." Matt, you have never been more right.

At the pet store, Simon and Ruthie try to buy hamsters, but the store owner is sensible enough to refuse to sell them anything without a parent. Ruthie is overly concerned that the hamsters be married. I think it's supposed to be cute.

Having been refused, they are easily convinced to buy some black market ferrets from a guy lurking outside the pet store. They spend the whole fifty on the pair. This will end well.

Lucy and Matt are reading in Lucy's room. I guess Matt took his instructions to watch her very seriously, otherwise he'd be reading in his own room. Lucy tries to engage him in conversation about Buddhism, but he brushes her off. Matt tells her that she'll be in confirmation classes on Sunday. Lucy is naive enough to believe her dad is open minded about her exploration.

Eric and Annie talk to the random parishoner. She's sorry Tom didn't come with them. She also describes Tom as the good looking one.

Mary, Simon and Ruthie arrive home. Simon and Ruthie rush up to bed in order to hide their ferrets. Mary also heads to bed. Matt is suspicious of the early hour, but Mary insists she's tired.

Once upstairs, Mary begs Lucy to distract Matt while she sneaks out of the house. Lucy agrees, saying Mary owes her.

Lucy distracts Matt by trying to engage him in a conversation about religion. Matt has no patience for the discussion, but Lucy persists.

Mary sneaks out of the house. Happy chases the ferrets down stairs.

Outside, Felicity hands Mary a stolen dress. She rips off the security tag, giving the dress a slit up the leg. Mary starts to change as they head to the party.

Inside, Matt is bored with Lucy very interesting concerns about choosing a religion. Maybe because he's too stupid to follow her line of thought. He's relieved to see his parents come home. Matt reveals that Simon and Ruthie having been coming down for snacks and that Tom went out for a walk. Lucy tells them that Mary went to bed, which concerns Annie. She wants to know if her eldest daughter is feeling okay. Lucy offers to go check.

Eric decides to have a snack. Annie notices that something has chewed through a cereal box. She thinks it's mice. Matt is disgusted that Eric eats the cereal anyway. As am I.

Pool hall. Tom is drinking Slice, and chatting with the bartender. He notices that he's missing $50. The bartender asks him if he's sure he's okay and Tom replies that he never said he was. Deep.

Frat house. Turns out the party is Mary, Felicity and two guys. Mary is not comfortable with the situation, and refuses the offer of a beer. Felicity suggest that she relax. Felicity and her date leave Mary and her date alone. Mary is nervous.

Simon and Ruthie notice that the ferrets are missing. Annie tells them about the mice.
Annie pops in to say goodnight to Mary and Lucy. Lucy covers by asking about confirmation class. Annie buys it.

Lucy returns Eric's Buddha book, and asks for a book on Quakers. They talk briefly about different religions until Lucy gets tired. She asks again if he minds her looking into other faiths. Eric says it doesn't bother him, but then he nearly breaks his chair when he sits down. Eric is a terrible liar.

Annie tells Eric if he's upset about Lucy's inquiry he should say something. He lies some more and says he doesn't want her to pick his church just because it's his church. Annie comments that's very liberal of him and sends Eric out to look for Tom. She thinks he's hiding something.

Frat house. Mary and her date are sitting awkwardly on a couch. He offers her a beer, but she still doesn't want one. When she gets up to talk to Felicity, her date expresses doubt that she's really 18. Probably because she's 14.

Mary asks Felicity to take her home. Felicity suggests she ask her date for a ride, but Mary notes that he's been drinking all night. Felicity joins the boys, and Mary looks upset.

Camden Mansion. Annie sees the ferrets in her drawer and starts screaming about mice. Simon rushes in to explain about the ferrets. Annie is not happy.

Lucy is on the phone with Mary, who orders her to, "Get Matt now."

Simon is trying to sell his mom on the excellent investment he and Ruthie made when they purchased the ferrets. Annie isn't buying it. Lucy comes in and tells Matt to take the phone call in another room. She notes that the mice seem mutated.

Matt comes back in and tells Annie that he needs to pick up a friend at a party. Annie lets him go, admonishing him to go straight there and come straight home.

Church. Eric finds Tom praying. Tom reveals that his big secret is epilepsy, and he had a seizure in the middle of a sermon. Eric suggests that he give the congregation a chance. Eric also no longer doesn't like Tom.

Matt picks Mary up at the frat house. He starts to give her a lecture. Felicity comes out to ask if Mary's leaving. Matt insists that he's taking Felicity home as well. Felicity isn't buying it. Matt threatens to put her in the car and starts counting down. I'm sure that it's supposed to seem protective, but it just seems creepy. Felicity gets in the car, sparing the viewers Matt's attempt to force her.

Annie is talking to the ferrets when Eric comes home with Tom. He wants the ferrets, so he's not mad that Simon and Ruthie spent his money. Annie is pleased that Eric likes Tom now.

Matt and Mary come home, giving Annie a chance to figure out that Matt picked up Mary at the party. Mary explains the situation, to which Eric replies, "How many ways could you go wrong in one sentence?" Heh. Matt orders Mary to talk to him after the parents finish they're lecture. Because he is under the impression that he is Mary's third parent.

Annie asks if Mary is okay, and Mary says she is. Annie chews her out. And grounds her for a month. They ask if Lucy was covering for her. Mary starts to head upstairs, when Annie calls her back to say that they're glad she's home safe and that they love her. Only she says it in a super pissed off tone, which strains the credibility of the statement. Mary offers a weak, 'yeah,' before heading upstairs.

Annie wants to ground Lucy for two weeks for covering for her. Eric wants to use the situation to force Lucy into confirmation class. Because he was lying when he encouraged her to search. Annie pretends to be surprised by this.

Mary actually did go up and talk to Matt. So he's lecturing her on the difference between guys and girls. He's shocked at her dress. He tells her he's going to be watching her like a hawk. Mary pretends this is protective instead of creepy.
Eric is eavesdropping on them. Annie pretends to disapprove.

Eric pops his head in to say goodnight to Lucy. She in the middle of covering for Mary, when Mary walks into the room. Lucy decides that she will be in confirmation class on Sunday. Huh, I guess his plan worked.

Tom is preaching. He's using the Camdens latest adventures as examples of facing choices. They don't mind, since they're listening to a rehearsal. The parishoner Eric and Annie visited is there, too. She wants to stay and think in the church awhile. The Camdens head to take Tom to the airport. Simon wans to know if they still have to come to church on Sunday.

We close with a shot of the ferrets running through the church.

Thoughts:

Annie is way too excited to see Tom. And she has way more chemistry with him than her husband.

It was cool of Matt to pick Mary up from the party, but it seems less cool that he intimidated her friend into getting in his car. I almost wish the girl hadn't gotten in the car, just to see whether he really would have put her in the car.

The ferret subplot was ridiculous.

It was pretty hilarious to watch Eric try and fail to be supportive of Lucy's religious exploration. Just like every other time he tries to be supportive of his kids making independent choices.

Happy's Valentine

Breakfast with the Camdens. Annie wants to go camping with the Hamiltons. Just the adults. Eric has some doubts. Matt can't baby-sit because he's got a date. Mary and Lucy don't want to baby-sit. Simon is worried about giving the puppies away. Annie is determined to go camping, so she comes up with a plan to make it happen. Eric knows he has no say in the matter. The kids will be on their own for the night. Expect hijinx.

HIgh school. Matt and John make plans to hang out with their dates in an adult free house. Matt notes that the sisters won't go for it. John tries to ask Keisha, but it doesn't fly. He orders Matt to ask Mary.

Home. Ruthie is upset about giving the puppies away. Annie explains that their big enough to be on their own. She compares it to Ruthie still living with her parents at 30. This is early enough in the series that Annie can pretend she wants her children to be independent.

Matt is trying to get Mary to change her plans so he can have his date at home. Here's a thought, Matt, no one is at the Hamiltons. Why don't you and John take your dates to the actually empty house? They agree to split the house into the living room and the den. Lucy joins them to whine about breaking her date with Jimmy Moon. Matt suggests she can go if she takes the younger siblings. Lucy demands ten bucks from each of them because she knows they're up to something.

Eric comes home to find Annie packing for their trip. He's whining about his day and he doesn't want to go camping. Simon comes in the puppies fully packed. Annie tells him to keep an eye on Happy, since she might go looking for the puppies. This is known as foreshadowing.

Lucy is suggesting the movie plan to Jimmy Moon. He's not sure about taking the kids because the Reverend wouldn't approve, and because he's taking her to a French film. The same film they watched in episode three. Lucy convinces Jimmy to go to the movies and send the kids to a cartoon movie in the next theater. So much scheming.

Ruthie sees her parents off on their trip. She doesn't want to kiss them good-bye, but complies anyway. She announces to Eric that she's moving out one day. Eric tries to weasel out of camping. The Hamiltons arrive. Annie and Eric give some last minute instructions and head off for the weekend. Are you ready for some hijinx?

Lucy tries to convince the kids to go to a movie. None of them are interested. She tells them that they're going.

Dwight comes by to pick up the puppies. His mother is way too gushy about their cuteness. Dwight wants to name them Simon and Ruthie. Heh.

Matt convinces Simon to go to the movies by promising to keep an eye on her. Simon buys it because he doesn't know about foreshadowing. This will end well.

At the movies. Lucy gives the kids their tickets and when they figure out that they're seeing it alone they demand a bribe. Everyone heads to the theaters.

Matt and John arrive at the Camden mansion with their dates. They come in through the kitchen and Matt offers everyone something to drink (no, not adult beverages). John and his date start kissing, and it looks like Matt and his date are about to kiss. They are interupted by a noise from the living room. They all go to tell the girls to keep it down...

And find a rather large party, complete with boys. Matt and John are not happy. Should've gone to the Hamilton's actually empty house boys. Mary and Keisha are pretty relaxed about the whole thing. Matt, John and their dates decide to enjoy the party while they can.

Camping. Morgan and Eric are huddled around a fire. Eric hates camping, so he's whining a lot. Morgan offers him the sermon he's going to use, but since he's drawing parallels between Moses and Martin Luther King, Eric isn't sure he can pull it off.

In a tent, Annie and Patricia are comparing lingerie. If this were another kind of show, I'd wonder if they weren't about to engage in some spouse swapping.

Morgan's beeper goes off and Eric lends him a cell phone. The wives aren't happy that they brought methods of communication with them. Although, considering they left a total of 9 children on their own, it seems like they might want to be in some kind of radio contact. I can't believe they're even getting service in the woods.

The phone call is for Patricia. It's her first husband, who calls her every Valentine's Day. Morgan is angry about these phone calls. Patricia points out that he had the beeper.

The cartoon. The kids seem to be enjoying the antics of Elmer Fudd.

Lucy and Jimmy exchange cards in the theater of the French movie actually titled "Parlez-Vous?" Jimmy got Lucy a joke card, and she gets angry.

At the party. Keisha and Mary flirt with boys. Matt is too interested in Mary's flirting. John notices that a couple guys are drinking beer. Matt tells them to get rid of it. They put the bottles in a nearby lamp. John busts in on Keisha's flirting. His date is bored by this and starts to dance with someone else.

Camping. Everyone is eating around the campfire making small talk about the stew. And trying to ignore the tension between Morgan and Patricia. Patricia and Annie both head to bed, leaving the men to clean up the dishes. If this were a different kind of show...

Eric and Morgan decide to check up on the kids. They call Sargent Michaels and ask him to drive by the house like he's on a routine patrol. Because Sargent Michael's is Eric's bitch.

Cartoon. Simon and Nigel are throwing popcorn at other movie-goers. Brats. Lynn and Ruthie have fallen asleep. An usher busts them and kicks them out of the theater.

Jimmy and Lucy make up. She tries to make him kiss her, but the moment is interupted by the usher with Simon and Nigel.

Party. Srgt. Michaels enters and walks straight up to his son, inquiring about whether alcohol is being served. It's just the son and his friend. He makes the kid call his mother. This doesn't fit with later expositions about Srgt. Michael's family.

Matt drags Mary into the room, lecturing her about talking to a guy in the kitchen. Matt, butt out. They notice Srgt. Michaels and start babbling about how no one was drinking, except for the two he already busted. The policeman tells them that Happy was hit by a car. He's already taken her to an animal hospital and offers to give Matt a ride over. That is some fine service provided by the Glen Oak PD.

Camping. Morgan and Patricia talk. She gives him some of the details about her first marriage. Morgan is shocked to find out that her first husband was white. This convinces him to stop asking questions.

Annie and Eric gossip about their friends after some "alone time." They decide to call the kids to see how they're doing, but the phone rings first. It's Srgt. Michaels calling in with his report. I really want to know what dirt Eric has on him, as this is only the beginning of favors and special treatment for the Camdens.

Matt paces at the Animal hospital. Srgt. Michaels is waiting with him. June Lockhart comes out to give them an update. She sends Matt home to tell Simon. She's planning to stay the night to keep an eye on Happy.

Annie is ranting about what a stupid idea camping was as the adults pack up to head home early. Eric tries to make her feel better, but Annie doesn't really want to be comforted. Patricia and Morgan are ranting on their own. He's still harping about her first husband. Dude, it's been 20 years-- get over it.

Mary and Keisha try to clean the party mess. Ruthie and Lynn tell them about Simon and Nigel. They get sent up to get ready for bed.

Lucy and Jimmy say good-night. He doesn't kiss her, but promises to someday. She buys it.

Matt tells Simon about Happy's accident and Simon chews his ass out for not keeping an eye on her. Crowning moment: Simon tells Matt that he hates him. He demands to go to the vet to be with Happy.

At the animal hospital. Simon is talking to his injured dog. We still don't know if Happy is going to be okay, but Matt tells his sister that the dog is doing a lot better. June Lockhart busts him for lying.

Mary doesn't think Matt was telling the truth. The parents all come in. The Hamiltons get ready to leave. They decide to interagate the kids separately.

Thus follows a scene which cuts between each of the kids trying to downplay and/or excuse their participation in the various unapproved activities. Basically they're all lying enough so that the parents have no sense of what might have happened. They give up. It's actually an amusing scene.

Morgan and Patricia finally make up, so we don't have to hear about her first husband until season two. The Hamiltons leave.

Matt calls to give an update on Happy. The Camdens all decide to head down to the animal hospital and wait with Simon and Happy. If I were June Lockhart, I'd be pissed about having to spend my night with the Camdens.

Matt takes responsibility for the various events. Eric tries to make him feel better, and promises to punish everyone later.

June Lockhart is watching Happy and Simon sleep on the exam table. There's nothing new, and June doesn't seem to encouraging about Happy's recovery.

In the waiting room, all the girls are asleep.

Morning. Everyone is sleeping in the waiting room of the animal hospital. June Lockhart has fallen asleep on her desk. That's gonna be sore later. Happy wakes up, making a miraculous recovery. Everyone is glad that Happy is going to be fine.

Simon and Matt make up. Simon makes everyone apologize to Happy. They all play along. And all is right with Camdens once again.

Thoughts:

I can't believe the Camdens and the Hamiltons decided to go camping and leave all their kids unsupervised with less than 24-hours planning. Seems more than a little irresponsible.

I also can't believe that Jimmy and Lucy have been dating for several months and he hasn't kissed her. Is this normal for thirteen year olds?

Sargent Michaels is way too involved with the Camdens.

Last Call For Aunt Julie

We open with Eric arriving home, having pick up his sister at the airport. Everyone's excited to see her, she teases naturally with the family. She seems especially close to Matt. She's brought them all presents. Ruthie at four doesn't know what an aunt is. Simon is over grateful to the point where I wonder if he's ever received a present before.

Matt takes Julie upstairs, so that Mary and Lucy can ask about not having Thanksgiving with the family. Mary wants to see a movie; Lucy wants to spend time with Jimmy Moon. Matt asks Julie if she minds if goes skiing with his new girlfriend during her visit. Julie encourages him. He asks about her cool boyfriend, and Julie stammers that he's with his family this year. Matt leaves so that Julie can pull out the fifth she's carrying in her luggage and take a shot. She hasn't bothered to closed the door though-- she's lucky that no one in this nosy family happened to be walking by.

Dinner. Eric is happy that his kids haven't bugged him about skipping out on Thanksgiving. They give everyone permission to go through their plans. The kids are reasonably appreciative. Julie makes a toast and downs her glass of wine. Simon notes that his aunt drinks a lot of wine. Because she's got a secret problem. She covers that she lost track because of all her travelling. Eric enables her, saying that it's okay because she's on vacation. Because it's still a secret problem. Annie makes her kids clean the kitchen.

Annie and Julie discuss Annie's mom. Julie tells Annie that she's been really tired of her life lately. Annie is sympathetic. Annie leaves to tuck her kids into bed. And also so that Julie can sneak some wine out of their locked liquor cabinet. Who knew the Camdens were so welled stocked in adult beverages?

Matt is making out with the girl who invited him skiing. She's planning quite the romantic weekend. Including "lots of other stuff" while her family is skiing. She clearly doesn't know that Camdens only "do stuff" after they rush into marriage.

Eric's sorry he didn't get home from some meeting before his sister went to bed. Annie reminds him that she's here for a few days. Eric is nervous about preaching in front of his sister, given her perfectionist tendencies. Annie tells him he'll do fine, and is glad that she's here. She asks Eric if he thought Julie was drinking more than usual. Eric thinks she's just unwinding. Annie looks uncertain.

Eric is preaching. Julie is anxious. The family notices. Eric introduces his sister and she spills out her purse, so that Eric can further embarass her by calling her the family klutz in front of his parish. Nice.

Annie calls Julie's boyfriend. I guess to check up on Julie's excuse for his absense. Because she's that nosy. She finds out they broke up, and that Julie got fired from her job. Annie looks concerned.

Simon and Ruthie are playing Batman. Julie comes into get some more booze, but Simon playfully steals the key, so she can't get in. She plays along, and she and Ruthie start tickling him to get the key back. But Simon's not giving up quickly enough. So Julie very suddenly and very roughly grabs him by the neck demanding that he, "Give her that G-D key." Ruthie calls for their mother as Simon protests. Annie understably throws her out of the house.

Saloon. Julie is drinking with some random guy. Eric walks in. The bartender called him to tell him that his sister was there. Because Eric apparently knows the bartender well enough for him to know who his sister is. Eric tells Julie that it's time to go home, and when she resists, he literally drags her out of the bar. She's yelling at him to let her go, and nobody in the bar does anything to stop him.

Annie is talking to the kids about what happened. Lucy wants to know if Julie will still be staying with them, but Annie is opposed to having her around the kids. Because she actually tried to injure on of them. Annie explains alocoholism and that it's a disease. She explains about addiction. Lucy suggests that alcoholics "are really just trying to kill themselves," and Annie agrees with her. Way to oversimplify a complicated issue there. Matt sends Simon and Ruthie upstairs, so Annie can further explain things to the older kids.

Matt thinks it's cold to send Julie away to rehab when she needs her family the most, but Annie is concerned about the potential for more violence. Mary is super angry with her aunt and is ready to disown her. Lucy is crying as she recaps the situation. She feels sorry for everyone involved.

Eric brings Julie into the house. She can barely stand. Matt goes to help. Lucy is still crying. Mary calls Julie out on her behavior, and gets reprimanded for her efforts. Julie tries to apologize, but Annie's not really having it. I'm not sure why everyone's being so hard on Mary for her reaction, when Annie seems to be just as distant. The men take her upstairs. Wonder why Eric didn't take her directly to rehab. He seems the type to have access to places open at all hours.

Jimmy Moon calls and Lucy backs out of her Thanksgiving plans due to the family problems. Interesting tidbit-- apparently these twelve year olds spend a lot of time discussing Jimmy Moon's fear of intimacy. Like twelve year olds would even know what that means.

Matt comes in and cancels his sisters' plans for them. Because as their older brother, he can make that call. Though his father did just forcibly drag his sister out of a bar, so maybe this is how things work in Glen Oak. Mary thinks this is a ridiculous idea, and refuses to let "some drunk ruin her holiday." Matt tells her the holiday is already ruined and wants to know why Mary is so mad. Mary points out that Julie hurt Simon, and that she's looked up to Julie all her life and is upset because her aunt is too human. Matt points out that it's not her fault, but Mary isn't hearing it. Matt's upset about her general lack of compassion.

Annie asks Eric about where Julie will be going for treatment. Eric wants to keep Julie at there house and get her through the first few days himself. This seems like a terrible idea on so many levels. Annie agrees with me. Eric throws his qualifications in her face, but that's not why she's opposed to the idea because she's worried about her children's safety and she's not sure Julie even wants help. Eric really wants to do this for his sister because he thinks he's the only one who can help her through this. So modest, and also, even if you have the training, aren't there ethical issues involved in trying to treat members of your family? Annie looks super pissed.

Simon and Ruthie give back their presents. Julie looks devestated.

Matt tells his girlfriend that he can't go on the ski trip. She breaks up with him.

Eric talks to Julie about treatment. She's in denial about how serious her problem is. She wants to go home, but Eric won't even let her leave the house, let alone the town. I don't know why Julie doesn't call the police about his forced confinement.

Lucy and Ruthie offer to help Annie with Thanksgiving dinner. Mary doesn't want to because she's still upset that Julie is in their house. Annie sends her on a walk to cool off. Lucy begins the process of morphing into her mother.

Matt offers to give Eric a break from the 24-hour surveillance of Julie. This seems like a bad idea on so many levels. As soon as Eric is out of the room, Julie tries to con Matt into getting her a beer. Matt almost falls for it because he wants to believe in his aunt, but he doesn't want to get her a beer.

Julie turns on him, saying he's "just as self-righteous as [Eric]." She's got that right. Then she kicks him out of the room, shouting random insults. Matt's clearly hurt.

Evening. Simon is teaching Ruthie about drawing turkeys. She's not that impressed. Ruthie wants her present back. So does Simon. They go to get their stuff out of the other room.

Julie's having withdrawls in the other room. She's hallucinating about rats and screaming. I can't believe Eric is subjecting his kids to this. I mean they're all just down the hall, I imagine they can hear what's going on.

Morning. Julie, Annie, and Eric are asleep in the master bedroom, so the kids are making breakfast. Mary is still upset and snotty. Eric and Annie are impressed that the kids have started preparing Thanksgiving. Annie gives them all permission to go off on their other plans. Lucy declines on everyone's behalf.

Matt suggests that Mary get over her snottiness about Julie's situation. He tells her that he hopes if she ever needs help, that someone treats her with more kindness than she's shown her aunt. Of course, we all know that the minute Mary's family does not treat her with anywhere near the understanding they are showing Julie in later seasons.

Julie is calling a rehab place to see if they will take her as a patient. Looks like Eric's crazy plan worked. As she hangs up, she sees Mary hovering in the background. Julie apologizes, and thinks Mary is giving her present back. Mary's real plan however is to give her aunt a makeover. Aww, looks like she's not angry anymore.

Night. The table is set with a variety of unidentifiable food. The parents are having trouble figuring out what to say about it, and Matt won't let them in the kitchen. Probably because it's a disaster. The Camden parents decide to have water with there meal instead of wine. Which is good because that way it won't tempt Julie who has just come in with Mary.

Simon is a little nervous about being in the same room with his aunt. She promises that she's getting better, and that she loves him. Simon hugs her, shows her that he kept his present afterall, and all is forgiven.

The family sits down to dinner. Annie says grace, and everyone digs in. Julie makes a joke about being drunk when she brought Happy's present and everybody laughs. Too soon, y'all. Everyone digs into the food as the show draws to a close.

Thoughts:

Eric is so creepy sometimes.

I know we're supposed to think that Eric is just being a protective brother, but it's really creepy to watch a man forcibly drag a screaming woman out of a bar while all the patrons ignore it. Even if they do know each other, the patrons don't know that, and there may be compelling reasons for her not to want to go with. The whole scene is just wrong.

Also, I think Mary's anger was a little over the top, but it seemed like a more natural reaction than Matt's and Lucy's instant empathy.

I can't believe Annie let Eric lock his sister in their bedroom so he could treat her for alcoholism while all their kids were in the house. I also can't believe there was anything legal or ethical about that situation. Julie expresses numerous times that she doesn't want to be there, and as an adult, she should have the right to make that decision.

There are quite a few references to Annie and the kids missing Annie's mother, which was a nice touch of continuity.